By Du'Doll
Date: 29 January 2001
All That I Am
Looking into the mirror, at myself
I flintch at my own reflection
Is this person I see, the same person that everyone else is seeing
How can they stand infront of me and not turn away
Do they not see all of me
My eyes tell a story of fear and dark corners
But my lips will tell you another tale
A tale of laughter and joy
Dark circles under my eyes, red and bloodshot
I have tried for so long to hide my own soul
I have hidden my pain under blankets of smiles
But every time I look at myself, I see all that I am
I see mistakes
A lifetime of failures
Not once have I ever been good enough
Are the standards too high, or am I just too low
My own mother gave me away, and that was at birth
If she can't even be proud of me while I was a new infant
What gives me the right to be proud of myself
I have grown so accostom to pain and cutting insults
Now I don't deserve any kind and considerate words
I have given all of myself and yet forgotten who I am
And my reflection is empty and sad
I look away from the glass as tears begin to rise inside me
Maybe if I just don't look at myself, I won't break down and cry
But the tears then begin to flood and I run to hide my broken pieces
Is there anything in my life that I can be proud of
What have I said to deserve any amount of compassion
There is nothing, I have done nothing, I feel as if I am nothing
And that is all that I am
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