Can't Make It So

By Ali
Date: 19 February 2001

Can't Make It So

I don't know why this lingers After all this time, this feeling still remains Now, it occurs to me that I can't let go Of what I never really had But, still, I believe... I believe without reason to Just going by what I feel And, maybe, what I feel is false Maybe it's just another lie But, it's true, until proven otherwise And I guess that it's all I know... I don't pretend to see everything that, perhaps, I should But, I'm not as blind as I appear I don't pretend to see perfection, because I know it isn't there I don't see an angel, I don't see a saint I see one who is fallen... I don't know that I'm right, I don't know that you're wrong Because I look around and see shadows Shadows of doubt And I just odn't know anything for certain... I am not perfect, I posses much fault In times hwen I should be strong I have instead been weak I know that I'm too trusting And I know that I'm too forgiving But, I still believe in the goodness of people That goodness that society tries to kill, to erase I'm very much like a child, because of that... I find it practically impossible to give up on people Even when I know that I should Because I wouldn't want anyone giving up On me... And, yes, I'm angry Yes, I'm hurt Yes, I'm tired I think I would have given up, long ago If I had gotten a goodbye But, I just have this gap, in the story Where the pages are blank And the answers are missing, out of reach Once again... So, just color me confused (that's a light shade of blue, right?) Because this feeling still remains Even though it should have passed Should have left me, months ago Still, it lingers on... Writhing and turning inside, so that I can't forget What isn't mine to remember Maybe I'm just a fool Maybe I'm nothing but a fool... Because I still hope, when I know that hope is foolish When I know that which I ask for is simply a prayer A prayer spoken in vain, with the voice of selfishness Because it seems I am never heard Or maybe I am underserving of what I seek I just still feel, what I never should have felt And I believe, when maybe, I should not Maybe what I believe in is a whole lot of nothing Is what I feel, just a feeling made of lies? Or is there truth woven in there, somewhere? I can wish... I can pray... I can hope... That I'm right About all of this, about him That he's not as bad as you believe That things will work out That there is a reasonable explanation For this, for everything I can wish... I can pray... I can hope... But, that can't make it so I cannot will things to be the way I want If I could, things wouldn't be like this(duh!) And I wouldn't feel like this... Yet, I still believe And I still feel all these things And I do so, without reason I don't know why this lingers After all this time, this feeling still remains...

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