By Ditz
Date: 25 February 2001
The Magnet
As a child I played in the dirt.
I had three older brothers, which might explain my love of those things boyish.
I played soldiers and cowboys. I watched movies of war and violence.
I idolized those things male and strong.
In the dirt, I explored centuries gone.
I found fossils and artifacts, and believed them to be such.
When night fell, I remained fearless as monsters ripped at my soul.
I held fast to the strength I hoped was in me.
In the brightness of day, I was once again a child.
I returned to the dirt in search of treasures I knew were there.
With magnet in hand, I was facinated by the flecks of steel clinging to me.
Who knew steel existed in the soft brown dirt?
I touch the coolness of my magnet.
What attracts steel to it's ugly black form?
I place the magnet on the planter box and dig through the dirt some more.
Nothing of beauty to be found.
My magnet had a mate. Same in color and shape.
When I hold both in hand, they cling to each other.
As if life depends on the oneness they become.
As if to be separated will destroy their identity.
I place both magnets on the planter box.
I play with their attraction to each other.
A flick of hand and my magnet refuses to be united with its mate.
What before was certainty is now confusion.
No matter how hard I try to force them together, there is a resistance.
The attraction is gone. The loyalty I knew to be infinite, now finite.
In my youth I could easily turn the magnet back, and watch as that love was rekindled.
In my wisdom I know we are not so easily reunited.
Once again my magnet has turned.
The attraction that was infinite, now dying as well.
The harder I try to attract your love, the more you turn from my face.
The more I force myself to connect to you, the faster you run.
There is poetry in my childhood.
There is beauty in that which I cannot control.
Simplicity of childhood gave life to inanimate objects.
Just as the illusions of childhood prove to be false, so too the illusions of love.
I don't fear the night any longer. I don't fear darkness or isolation.
I know that in time I will find that magnet who will attract himself to me.
When the flick of hand turns my world upside down, he will not run.
But more importantly...I will not run from him.
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