By Elaina
Date: 12 February 2001
Nightmares of Her
I woke last night
with tears in my eyes
remembering how you
left me for her. You
see in my dream you
were holding her and
ignoring me. My heart
broke all over again.
The day you told me
that you were 'in-love
with two perfect people'
replayed in my head, like
a "summer" re-run. I
thought that this heartache
was over, that I was well on
my way to recovery. But my
dreams prove me wrong.
I know you didn't really
love her and with all this
talk of LOVE lately, perhaps
it has re-lite that melting
candle of memory. Memories
that hold true every word
you said, every action you
lied about. I can't shake them
away. I've bathed myself in
others company hoping I'd
forget you, forget the hurt
you caused and pircing words
that woke me last night.
I can remember every word
you ever said to me, every
'I love you' every 'I'm sorry'
and you've forgotten me. Turned
me into the bad guy. Made it my
fault. Well, you and your
manipulating have made
a wonderful life out of guilt.
You have no charm and no tact.
You make people need you, people
that were way better off without
you, and that's what makes the
memories unbarable. Why does
this still haunt me after all
this time, after all that's been
done and said. After all the tears
have already been cried, after you
lied after you broke my heart
and shattered my innocence. Why do
I still love you, when I'm one of
those girls who are better off
without you. Maybe because you
showed me a love I never knew
before you. With all the insight
I have now, I believe in-love, I
have no choice. You know how I
use to say that there is no
such thing as love, well I know
there is, I can't deny that. I've
been in love many times. So I've come
to a new theory, love is possible,
just not consistant.
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