By gardenguru
Date: 28 February 2001
But I luvvvv him
I watch daytime talk shows. Or at least I use to.
I admit it. They use to be intellectual.
Or maybe that's me rationalizing.
Oprah had a good one. Long, long time ago.
About women obsessed with men.
(No, no generality -- That's what this show was about.)
"He abuses me, he cheats on me, he steals from me,
He kicks my dog, hates my kids, hates my family, AND
He controls my emotions."
And then the bomb, "But I luvvvv him."
"Why do you 'luvvvv' him?" That's what the hostess is SUPPOSE to ask.
"Because he can be good, because he was good, because maybe he'll change."
No, 'taint so. 'Taint gonna be. Move on.
Yeah, the bottom line was, as most of you know, was "move on".
Physically "move on" was the basic assumption.
The emotional "move on" was harder to grasp.
"Moving on" 'taint easy. Emotionally that is.
The trick is knowing that "LOVE" --
you know, the BIG four-letter word we all write poems about --
Is a matter of mutuality. I like that word.
Needs to be discussed on a talk show. Daytime.
Something kin to "Takes two to tango". Takes two people.
Each loving the other. Each showing respect.
When only one does, then it's not love. Bottom line. It's not.
Maybe it's adoration. Maybe you "cherish" someone.
Or maybe it's obsession. Maybe clinical, maybe not.
But it's NOT love. You just can't use the word when there's only one.
Dictionary won't allow it. Oprah won't allow it.
(Jerry doesn't give a rat's patootie.)
Okay, new show. This one's about self esteem.
Damn, I hate that word/phrase.
It's become a cliche and because of that, it's lost its importance.
Low self esteem -- forgive me, THAT'S the cliche phrase --
Is the reason why so many people are on daytime talk shows.
They're in out-of-control relationships with out-of control lovers,
Out-of-control spouses, children, families, dogs, and gerbils.
A therapist once told me that people in abusive relationships
"Just don't know what's better" AND,
The big AND, "Just don't think they deserve better".
When someone is "low", another who abuses that someone
Makes that someone lower.
Dang. A merry-go-down.
When Alice B. Toklas asked Gertrude Stein (on her death bed),
"Gertrude, what is THE ANSWER?",
Gertrude thought for the longest moment and said,
"What was the question?"
The question, dear folks who've stayed to the end of this, is
"Why is the future so far away when you THINK you love someone?"
Back to the Heart-on-Sleeve Corner