By Cee
Date: 27 February 2001

Raw Emotion

Emotions pour from your fingers , straight to me .. 
Your green eyes , 
So deep , 
Yet so soft .. 
I can see them from where I sit , 
Taste your lips on mine still ..
And your smell that engulfs me , 
Shades my senses ,
To the point where my mind wanders , 
Finding only you ...

Finding only the image of what could be ..
Or is that should be ?
The thought , 
of where 'we' could go ,
Is beyond my stubborn mind ..

You spill the words out , 
Telling me things that I don't want to hear
The things I need to hear ...
And I feel I no longer make sense ,
That everything I live is my own false illusion ,
A game that's been played so long .. 
That now there are only losers ,
When in reality I am the one who looses ...

So here i sit ...
On the other end of your honesty , 
Stone cold , 
Eyes wide ,
Watching , 
Waiting ...
For the next move , 
For one of us to break , 
For something that may never become ... 
Wondering ,
Should I even let this happen ?
Am I even ready for this ?

A thousand things go through my simple mind ,
Making me think things that I know are not right ..
Putting judgments upon myself ,
The same judgments you lay on me , 
When I laid in your bed ..

That night , I felt so free ,
So very afraid , 
In total bliss ..
Yet so alone ,
Confused ..
As I do now , 
As I hide , 
As I pretend I am this bitch who doesn't give a damn ,
This person who has given up on the idea of being 'in love' ..

I close my dark brown eyes,
Run my fingers through my hair ,
Loose myself in my music ,
And try Not to think ..

Of your green eyes that are so clear in my mind ...
Your words filling me ,
Spilling into my mind like the river leads to the sea ..
Your body so dangerously close to mine , 
The taste of you skin ,
Your lips pressed to mine ..

Sighing softly ,

I try not to think ,
Of what could be ....