By Incognito
Date: 1 April 2001
ALONE
ALONE
I have been alone most of my life.
Even in marriage, I have suffered alone.
I have never had what you would call a true friend,
a best friend, or even a friend.
After some soul searching, I still have not determined
wether I chose to be alone,
And avoided all types of friendship,
or if in fact, no-one has ever taken a liking to me.
Whatever the case may be, I often feel like a freak of nature.
I feel like an oddball,
That does not fit in with any group, or any people.
I am a loner, and always have been.
There is no-one like me, or at least I have never met anyone.
I am an alien resident.
What a lonely destiny I have.
My past is alone, my present is alone, and my future alone.
I am my only friend. I alone, care for me.
I go to lunch alone, by choice,
as I need the solitude to relax and enjoy the peace.
I often feel uncomfortable, having to entertain,
or to make conversation.
I use my break at work, to go to a quiet secluded spot,
close my eyes, and nap.
I would not be able to do that if
I had to keep company during my break time.
Sometimes, when alone,
I cry out of sheer heart-break.
You would think that by now,
I would be used to the solitude.
Most of the time I enjoy it.
But there are times,
That I wish, I had someone who cares,
that I could talk to.
Whenever I try to talk to would-be friends,
they act like I am intruding on their space.
I back off, and go back into my shell.
I never try again. Once is enough.
Why am I destined to be alone ?
Why are there no other people like me ?
I have little or nothing in common with anyone.
Everywhere I go, I feel so out of place.
I am a square peg, trying to fit into their round holes.
I am the fifth wheel.
I am the sixth finger, and the sixth toe.
Belonging to no-one, wanted by no one.
At work, everyone is happy and excited
to see each other, when they enter the room.
When I enter, they become silent,
they look the other way, they ignore me.
I am like the plague, the unwanted child,
the leper, the castaway.
I am getting tired.
I am feeling weak.
I can no longer hope. I just exist.
I don’t care anymore. I just want to rest,
and spend the remainder of my life, alone.
.
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