By Ali
Date: 25 April 2001

Need To Know

God know, I'd be the last to explain
I can't seem to understand, myself
I just want to leave, I just can't be this trapped
I have so many faces I cannot show
Because no one would ever try to understand
And I realize my dreams too late...

It seems I never know the right thing to say
Because it all just comes out so wrong
This silence is wrong
These words are wrong
So much is wrong
And I can't seem to make it right

I just go on pretending
And some go on believing, while others are hardly fooled
My disguise has worn so thin, almost translucent
You can almost see within
No, I can't ever let that happen...

Circling around this empty feeling
Trying not to fall in
Digging these holes
Just a little deeper
I can barely see your face
Or is that just my reflection?

Who knows anymore
Where it all ends and begins
All I see is grey, all you see is blue
But we're just black and white people
Searching for something
Searching for something, we cannot even hope to name

I'm trying to believe
But, it's gotten so hard
I just don't seem to see things
Quite the way I should
Quite the way I used to
Quite the way they are

I need to know
But, I don't think I ever will
And this hunger throws me to my knees
Shed me another coat of skin
I'm so tired of this one
I'm tired of this face

I just want to understand
As I suspect you do too
But what is there to understand?
All of this is nonsense
Spun from insanity's own pen
And I wonder, will the ink ever run dry?

I stand outside
Having yet to be invited in
Trying desparetly to silence this thundering fear
I'm knowing less and less each day
Just looking for a sign, somewhere
That says, "It'll all be okay"

I've got nothing to hide
Except those things I cannot show
For you are made of logic, a heavy unmovable stone
I shie away from reason
It contradicts the fiber of who I am
I am made of pure emotion, running oh-so-deep

I know what I know
Which is seemingly less
Than I should
I put faith in the faithless
And love when love is needed
But, only once, is it true...
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