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By Ali Date: 2001 Jun 01 Comment on this Work [[2001.06.01.08.27.3920]] |
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Almost forgotten realizations Brought back to the surface Self-hidden truths, dragged out into the light Old wounds that never really healed, slashed open, again My head is swimming, spinning, spitting As if I was slipping in and out of consiciouness But, no, no that'd be a relief from this This nightmare, revisited...I am fully awake Unable to stay, unable to turn away Weak and pale, tired from this fight Yet, what I'm fighting, I do not know Maybe I'm fighting myself, again... I hate this situation, that I walked into But, I wasn't walking blind I was walking with confidence, knowing all the risks (Or at least hoping I did) Now that confidence has failed me, as did you And I have next to nothing left to loss... When I heard the news, I almost couldn't breath I had to blink back all those tears I wasn't going to cry, then I would cry later, when crying was more convenient So, I said to the bearer of bad tiding "I'm okay, I'm fine...I can't truly lose something That I never really had.." And what exactly did I think that I lost? I didn't lose your memory, for that is mine to keep And remember as I like, as you were, not as you are now For the demon that you hide inside, finally leaped out Reached into my chest, ripped out my bleeding heart But, didn't kill me... Wounded me, hurt me...stunned me, yes How could you hurt me now, after all this time? How can you still have that power, to make me bleed To make me cry? With all this distance, between us Of land, and of heart... How? No, not why...why would be too complicated An explanation I couldn't take right now In this fragile state that I find myself So, I ask this question of you... How? How did we end up quite like this? I ask you this, and beseech you One last time...hear me, and answer |