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By Ali Date: 2001 Jun 08 Comment on this Work [[2001.06.08.14.53.3006]] |
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Drawn back to a world, I would not face Lingering lightly, outside of it all Trying not to move, lest I upset the delicate balance Too many times, I have shaken things up Too many times... For too short a while, I brought about peace in my life Peace of mind, and peace of heart But, now it seems I'm back to Chaos Disorganized pain, walking on paper feet Thoughts are fragmented, spinning 'round As all of my excuse fall miles short Still I cannot accept this, this maddening situation This should not be...and yet...it is I remember waking, on a warm Monday morning Felt your shadow brush my cheek But, it turned out I was once again, merely dreaming A memory, a peice of this still incomplete puzzle The missing peices are not within my reach Though, I know where they are...in your eyes In your eyes the light shines bright A glow that seems to taught me, even now A million and one miles, from where you lay Ah, but you are not alone, my love There is someone by your side, sleeping soundly Seeing you in the daytime Sleeping in your protective arms, at night And dreaming of you, while she sleeps She sees you, as I can no longer see you For now, I only see you in my dreams Dreams that I cannot fully remember That slip away from my consciousness And fade rapidly, into the darkened corriders, of my mind... You found that you could do without me Someone came along to take my place-- Or was she always there? No, I will not linger on the path of virtue For I have done so many things wrong That I have cause to wonder, if I can do right As I sit here today, after this long day I wonder when I will again stand on my own two feet Without this sharp dibilitating pain I have tried not to think of you...yet I have failed And failed miserably... For yesterday I found your picture, hidden in plain sight And I thought of you...of us...and then, yes, I cried For then I thought of her...and you with her She who loves you so, for better or worse And I reason that you must love her, too, as she loves you That fact tells me one thing for certain That you never loved me at all, it was just in my head None of it could have been real I must have just been fooling myself Thinking that you truly loved me Seems a bitter and cruel joke has been played And I am the target of it... Sighing softly to myself, thinking of you again Damn you...save you Bless you...curse you I don't know which is worse The fact that I love you...that I love you still Or the fact that she does too... This twist of fate, breaks my heart, aided by your absence There is so much I cannot say For I am standing on the outside, barely daring to breath There is so much left in shadow, that craves the light That has been denied the freedom of a voice Yet, I have no choice in this matter Though, God, I wish I did For it kills me that this is this way So, I still stand outside of it all Trying not to upset the balance of your world There is no sense in both of us dwelling in Chaos As I would have it, though you do not grant me the same I will harm none...even though I have been harmed Furthermore, if you ask it, someday I would glady give forgiveness for all the wrongs done But, for now, I still try to keep still And not upset the balance... |