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By ~Harem~ Date: 2001 Aug 02 Comment on this Work [[2001.08.02.11.28.29511]] |
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I should be grateful and happy But I am damaged No longer can I love Savoring pain Languishing in longing Comfortable in being crushed Never satisfied Seeking perfection always Never finding it Judging relationships by the sex Never enough Never hot enough, long enough, good enough Having traded sex for love for so many years when love was never available but only sex Now thinking good sex is love I am damaged I fear beyond repair I fear happiness Destined to be alone Running from love Fleeing from closeness Wanting what I cannot have Having what I do not want Scared to be touched Intimate touching of my heart Frightens me into running Looking for reasons or strings My happiness lies in tears My joy bathes in bitterness Rejection is my reward At this very moment I want to be slapped and hit into sensibleness If only physical pain Could drown the pain of soul The torture of my own feelings I can love, only that which hurts Craving the evil touch The hand of hate A kind and gentle lover is handed to me on a silver platter And I loose my appetite The answer to my prayers lies at my feet and I kick him aside The heated hand of lust Touches my breast And I push it away A beating heart of desire Beckons me And I turn away Soulful love calls me And I cover my ears So not to hear Screaming and crying I run I hide inside. . |