By ~Harem~
Date: 2001 Aug 31
Comment on this Work
[[2001.08.31.12.17.26750]]

The Points System

In the world of romance,
one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes,
and you get points.
Do something she dislikes
and points are subtracted.

You don't get any points
for doing something she expects.
Sorry,
that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system:

  Simple Duties:

You make the bed..................+1
You make the bed, but forget
to add the decorative pillows......0
You throw the bedspread
over rumpled sheets........-1

You leave the toilet seat up...........-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty.....0
When the toilet paper roll is barren,
you resort to Kleenex....................-1
When the Kleenex runs out
you use the next bathroom................-2

You go out to buy her
extra-light panty liners with wings....+5
In the snow..............................+8
But return with beer.........................-5

You check out a suspicious noise at night.........0
You check out a suspicious noise
and it is nothing.......................0
You check out a suspicious noise
and it is something..................+5
You pummel it with a six iron..................+10
It's her pet.........................-50

  Social Engagements:
  Party:

You stay by her side the entire part.............0
You stay by her side for a while,
then leave to chat with a college
drinking  buddy.............................-2
Named Tiffany.........................-30
Tiffany is a dancer..............-60
  Tiffany has implants........-80

  Her Birthday:

You take her out to dinner..............0
You take her out to dinner and
it's not a sports bar..............+5
  Okay, it is a sports bar.......................-10
  And it's all-you-can-eat night........-30
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and
your face is painted the
  colors of your favorite team..........-50

  A Night Out With the Boys:

You Go with a pal.........................-5
The pal is happily married...........-4
  Or frighteningly single............-20
  And he drives a Mustang.......-40
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BED)......-55

  A Night Out:

  You take her to a movie.............+2
  You take her to a movie she likes...+10
  You take her to a movie you hate.....+30
  You take her to a movie you like....-20
  It's called DeathCop 3..........-30
  Which features cyborgs that eat humans.........-40
You lied and said
it was a foreign film about orphans......-15

  Your Physique:

You develop a noticeable potbelly............-15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and
exercise to get rid of it...............+10
  You develop a noticeable potbelly and
resort to loose jeans & baggy shirts..........-30
  You say, "It doesn't matter,
you have one too.".........-800

  The Big Question:

  She asks, "Do I look fat?"

  You hesitate in responding.........-10
  You reply, "Where?"............-35
  Any response besides an immediate "No!".........-20

  Communication:

When she wants to talk about a problem:

You listen,
displaying what looks like
a concerned expression.................0
You listen, for over 30 minutes..............+5
  You listen for more than 30 minutes
without looking at the TV.......................+100
  She realizes this is because
you have fallen asleep...................-50




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