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By Isabella Svenska Submitted by Isabella Svenska Date: 2001 Oct 09 Comment on this Work [[2001.10.09.20.35.21655]] |
| No matter who I decide to wash the memory away with, you are always there - lingering in the back of my mind. Because I know who you used to be and you became something so different. So shallow, callous and selfish. My memory of you, well, things weren't perfect and you are not a memory of perfection. But the thought of you and what once was still lingers in the back of my mind. Running through my thoughts as if it were yesterday when you chose another life without me - A different life- for ridiculous, stupid reasons. Maybe I am enraged because of your statement of stupidity and obvious lack of intellect that your "third marriage would be a charm" is so infuriating it couldn't even provoke a comment 2 years ago when you first stated this comment so obtusely - and still leaves me speechless. Of course, I was only your first one, so you have one more to go before you hit that lucky "third". You are such an idiot for letting me go and someday I hope you come to this realization or revelation. Of course you won't because you're so self-involved and focused on everyone else's imperfections that you can't even realize that even I am human and wasn't created perfect - No matter how perfect and "centerfold-like" you wished I could be. Of course you were perfect - with your perfect six-pack (flabby abs) and your 42 inch chest (32 inches)and your chistled chin (that outweighed the oversized ears). I am sorry but I am not going to starve myself and get breast implants to fit some perfect image you think your friends and family and society will approve of - just because you are just that weak that you are not able to say - this is the woman I love - deal with it! You left me alone without anyone and I am still alone - because you wanted to be with someone who was a centerfold. But I say bullshit to that! You love someone for who they are and their mind and soul - because we all get older and beauty doesn't last forever. Of course, I feel like you sucked all of the youth out of me anyway. Despite my disdain, I have to bring to light that you are a coward! You just gave up and didn't even fight for me as if I was not worth fighting for until the death. Your apathy then is still so incredibly distasteful to me now. Maybe because you chose to replace me the week after I moved out and you are still with her - maybe because I still choose to be alone until that perfect someone comes along. You didn't discriminate when it came to choosing the next one though. Boy is there truth to that statement! The funny thing is...she's a D-A-W-G and I mean this sincerely - and everyone knows it! Maybe she does your laundry and your dishes the way you want as often as you want. Well, I hope she is having as much fun NOT having sex with you as I did - because you have the sex drive of a knat. But, ten years is a lot to waste on anything and now I recognize how wasteful I was to be with you that long. I wish you pain and hurt and sorrow and loneliness and agony and rejection and sorrow - oh wait I already said that one. I can't wish this out loud...not outwardly because that would make me bitter and scorned. There is nothing worse than being labeled as a text-book bitter, scorned woman - nothing! Why is that? Why women who are dumped are labled bitter and men who are dumped are labled strong and "in pain" or recovering from heartbreak? So, I have no choice but to address your friends and colleagues with "never been better" because I could not stand the thought of you and your new lover getting the best of me. You suck! ...and I wish 12 toed, ugly, odd-faced children on both of you - whether you decide to stay together or not! I hope unhappiness and bad luck follow you everywhere. Because you have found a new life - whether good or bad and I am still here, without you - waiting for your apology and dealing with the agony of defeat of my failed marriage. So, why would I miss someone like you? I have no idea. All I can say with complete intelligence, with all the words I know is...You suck! ...and I mean that sincerely. |