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By Michael T (beer, need more beer) Submitted by MichaelT() Date: 2001 Oct 22 Comment on this Work [[2001.10.22.01.58.24174]] |
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I've heard it said that it's a chemical imbalance triggered by reproductive instincts if that's the case I need a doctor I've been unbalanced all my life I've heard it said that it's like beer. You know you gonna get filled up. And you're poisioning your brain. Still people drink it over and over. Is it appreciation? Is it the admiration you have for someone to want to know everything about them knowing you'll never know it all? If so at what point is it love? or is it appreciation to the point of knowing enough to know you don't need to know the rest? Because what you know is enough for you? Is it fantasy? I learned long ago to abandon my search for truth and now I just search for really good fantasies. I believe them for as long as I can get away with it. It is trust and faith? The belief that someone won't ever let you down about something important? The faith that you can depend on someone? The belief that someone has your best interests at heart? I thought once it was when you put someone ahead of you. But I learned that was just being used. "Hurt me!", said the masochist. "No!", said the sadist. And then I thought it was when you couldn't choose between your hurt and theirs. When you put their interests equal to yours. When you said what's good for me? What's good for you? What's good for us? And that you'll know because when it's love you're on the same freaking team. And then I thought well then what if it's not mutual? If it's not mutual, is it love? Or just some grand delusion? Could you love someone you never met? Like a child or a sibling or a parent you never knew? Can you love someone you think you'll meet and haven't met yet? Should we jealously guard our care and attention waiting for the perfect other to just walk into our lives? Even though it's a Catch 22 that nobody sane wants to care for someone who can't care for them back? Everybody seems to know I'm crazy right? Functionally crazy - but crazy nonetheless. Who takes the first step? How long should you dance before you get closer? What does it mean when you say I love you? |