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By Elaina Submitted by where is your heaven Date: 2001 Dec 06 Comment on this Work [[2001.12.06.23.51.15928]] |
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I lead a life of constant mistakes, never learning as I go. I asked myself today what's the point in even trying. "He's" always claimed it should be effortless. And that I try too hare...so I'm just not going to try any more, I'm going to just live as if noting makes a difference, as if nothing ever good happens, or nothing bad for that matter. I just can't take it anymore. So, I'm asking to be taken. Take me, use me, love me and leave me...it doesn't make a difference any more. Happiness is only a short moment then it's gone. I don't believe in love and I don't believe in myself. I just wish I could disappear and no one would ever notice I was gone. I don't understand why I'm so un-lovable when that's all I've ever wanted. I'm too easy...I don't put out enough. I'm so strong...I'm so weak. I don't even know who I am any more, because I've been hurt so many times. I swear if I ever talk of love, please kill me, before I get hurt again. I've always thought that there was one perfect soul for another...soul mates. I believe I'll be searching for mine forever. I'm so, so alone. |