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By Galadrial Date: 2001 Dec 11 Comment on this Work [[2001.12.11.09.40.16241]] |
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oh man, been clean now for a month maybe longer but oh i want a fix, NEED a fix can feel the itch the craving. Oh I look normal. Respectable. Proper. But inside I'm shaking the dt's afraid I will get weak, afraid I will be tempted by the next damned joy junkie with shining eyes who will put the love right in my hands. C'mon baby--- you know you want it, all the pretty colors. Dear god I do. I want it, and i don't care that I am clean because I WANT to be a junkie again. I want sweet bliss, oblivion anything but this stark night without my crutch, without my fix, alone with myself. They don't have a 12 step program for the battered the broken the needy crazy bitches like me. And the worst part is that I don't know if the love drug made me whole--- or just made me not care that I was empty. |