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By Elaina Submitted by where is your heaven Date: 2001 Dec 20 Comment on this Work [[2001.12.20.01.40.26295]] |
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I don't remember much about the other night, but I remember that in my constant ramble of a drunken stuper I asked you if you loved her. You said you didn't think so, then throwing myself over the edge I asked if you loved me. SILENCE. That silence seemed forever to me, and before you replied I said I'll take that as an I don't think so. You said that was an un-fair question, but it's the only one I have left. But your silence gave me an answer and here is what it said. You don't love me, love should not be hid. Love can't be hid for that matter. I always dread those words, and now I know I shouldn't. This misery that I've built for myself as a home, is only because I had the wrong idea. Love is not all rain drops and sleepless nights. It's completeness, what I live for. And it keeps me breathing, so I should not let any one, including myself, pollute that air. If you can't love then it is no fault but your own, because I can love you. I'm not broken, or unfixable, I was focusing on you and your capability to fear what has hurt you in the past. I'm just fine, and I've always been that way. I am willing to love. I'm willing to risk heartache for the possiblity of finding someone who completes me. Perhaps I may never find someone like you, in fact I know I won't, but we are both in this quicksand and I want to get out before I'm in too deep. I may stuggle and sink a little more, but at least, eventually, I'll be free. You will sit there not moving at all, and say give it time. TIME? Well, don't you just feel 'trapped'? I could never trap you, you did that yourself. I will love again, I will think of you I know. I will never forget you, but where ever I end up I will safetly be able to say, I fear nothing. I tried it all, I lost some, and I am now complete and happy. And where will you be? Perhaps, still trapped. |