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By angieubaldo Date: 2002 Feb 23 Comment on this Work [[2002.02.23.23.16.18578]] |
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I long to be sweet and eccentric But I am cruel and plain As normal as white bread, I am rock with no roll A stereo with no speakers A pen with no ink At times I feel useless And other times I try to take over the world I hurt you with the cruel words of my drunken stupor And I have no recollection of my actions When I have had too many tequila and coronas And my anger takes hold of me And I resent you for taking me so seriously I scare myself with me persona of normalness How I portray to be the one who's got it all together Like finely woven silk When I am just a lint ball Tossed aside After you find me in your pocket and think, what's this? Oh nothing... I take long showers and spend too much on shampoo I think that expensive lotions from Victoria's secret will cover the stench of my pain My rotting youth My fake smile My dyed hair My tears that flow from my eyes as you try to calm me over the phone When I call you drunk and stupid And you were in a deep sleep Trying to recall what you did to hurt me When you did nothing I do this to myself Call me a masichist Call me an angel Just don't call me what you think I am The one The one who completed your big puzzle Because I cannot hold that responsibility I cannot hold your heart in my hands They tremble to easily And fumble around like lost children I am too young To foolish I drink too much to carry that power Though you have my heart I trust You I do not trust myself To make you happy My mind flickers like a light bulb ready to die On off Confusion and fear takes its toll on me On my sanity And causes me to act crazy To snoop around like Sherlock Holmes looking for the reason Why I drive myself crazy When all I have to do is look in the mirror At myself and see That it is me That makes me so suspicious It its me Not you That is so confused And once I see that I fear I will have driven you away Will my drunken actions How I cannot remember a telephone number But I can remember what happened a year and a half ago When you told me it was over And I got over you But you wanted me back Maybe because I was not yours anymore, I was someone elses But I was never my own Or maybe you truly missed me and loved me Maybe I am the one But I my soul still yearns for the truth Though you tell me you know for sure I do not mean to call you a liar My heart believes you But my cynical mind convinces it otherwise And cautions me against my dream come true You |