By erin
Date: 2002 Mar 21
Comment on this Work
[[2002.03.21.18.21.15759]]

When?

     I wish you knew that you are the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.  The trouble is, I can't seem to verbalize these feelings I have to you.  I want to share my fears with you, that I have this doubt that this is all too good to be true, and that it is going to all come crashing down around me one day.  
     I don't want to jinx anything.  What if I say something to you and don't respond in like?  What if I ask you if you have ever cheated on someone and you say yes.  Small things.  
     Small things I want to ask you, things I do already know your response for---then why am I so scared of sharing my whole emotional self with you?!
     Well, that is a stupid question, because I already know that answer.  It's just I wish you were the first boy that I have ever had these feelings for, because then I wouldn't be so disillusioned about the eventual outcome, the inevitable outcome.  Then I wouldn't lie in your arms at night, long after you've fallen asleep, wondering when it's going to happen, when are you going to break my heart?