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By Cyan Date: 2002 Apr 13 Comment on this Work [[2002.04.13.13.39.15945]] |
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I saw you at Virginia Beach the other day. I almost fell to my knees. It's been 7 years, but you still look the same. Somehow I have held on to the rapture of us being in love after all this time. Looking across the sand I can only wonder if you feel the same. If I recall correctly, you turned 27 a month ago, and the woman standing next to you looks close to 30. I believe the children building a castle are yours, 2 boys. They look just like you. The oldest just turned four and the youngest is two (at least that's what my friend Nikki told me). A flashback hit me and I remember your hand on my belly, telling me you wanted lots of babies and how you would love to create a child with me, preferably a boy. You took your other hand and pulled out a ring. I cringed and removed your hand from me. It was then that I broke the news. "I've been offered a modeling job in France", I said. "This is a great opportunity for me". My daughter slaps me on my thigh, pulls my hand, and leads me to the water. I snapped back into reality and started to stare again. You began to kiss her and I swear I felt my heart drop to my feet. She starts to run and you go after her. You both laugh and giggle. It's like the two of you are in your own little world. I heard you call her name, Anastasia. That name rolled off my tongue in a faint whisper. "Anastasia", I say to myself. Thoughts began to take shape in my mind. "You took my man. I'm the one he should be kissing. Those are suppose to be my children playing in the sand." Okay. I admit it. It was foolish of me to let you go. But I was caught up in the moment. My plans where taking shape. I was finally getting what I wanted. My fantasy of becoming rich and traveling the world was now possible. I needed to be free from responsibility. You always said I was a wild child. Where ever the wind blew. That is where I went. "It doesn't have to be over", I told you. I can come home for visits. I could fly you to Europe whenever I have leisure time." And for awhile that is how it was, but then that diamond popped up again and the question was asked for the second time. I said no for the last time. I laughed it off when you said we where finished. I thought I had you wrapped around my finger, but little did I know. Who would have thought you could love Anastasia as much as you loved me. My baby girl is 3 now. I don't even know who her father is. I think it's this rich executive I had a fling with. I caught a glimpse of him as he left the cheap motel he took me too. It looks as though she has his eyes, but I'm not sure. Yes. I've had my share of men. 2 weeks is probably the longest relationship I've had since you. I can never get too attached. I'm a free-spirit. I move with the wind. Only now I wish the wind would have kept me with you. My grandma always said, "You never know what you have until it's gone." How right she was...how painfully right. I laid a blanket on the ground. When I turned to watch you again, Anastasia was leading you back to the beach house. I imagined the two of you making love and I thought I would die. Tears began to water my eyes. My daughter asked in baby talk, "What's wrong Mommy?" "Nothing", I say. I told her if she ever fell in love with a man to never let him go. "If the two of you fall apart, make sure it's him who walks away and not you. You'll regret it for the rest of your life." She nods in reply as if she understands completely what I'm saying. A smile breaks across my face and I find myself blessed with this child as Anastasia is blessed with the love of my life. |