|
By Jon Date: 2002 May 20 Comment on this Work [[2002.05.20.18.49.4687]] |
|
It's been three and a half years since I've last heard from you. How you got my apartment number is a mystery to me, but, you said hello as if only three days had passed by rather than three whole years. "Do you think we can have another chance?" you asked me with a sense of confidence as if you already knew my answer. The reason why we seperated is no mystery to the one's that know. And now that I finally have the strength to not break down and cry every time I think of it, I'm ready to write it down... We broke up because you killed my daughter. You were my highschool sweetheart. If my name was mentioned in a conversation your name would have immediatley followed it. We were young and in love, and really stupid for that matter. We never used protection, and one morning you called me up to tell me that the tests came back positive. The doctors were even able to determine the sex of the baby. It was going to be a girl. Ever since I could remember I have always wanted a daughter first. I don't know why, but it ranks in the top ten of things to accomplish during my lifetime. And here it was a daughter to call my own. I even named her....Angela. My full name is Jon Angelo, so as corny as it may sound I wanted her to have a part of me in her name forever, since my last name she would not keep. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness, I was part of bringing a new life into this world and I was going to love her unconditionally forever. So what if I was only seventeen? Love is all you need...espcially when it comes to children. Your parents didn't like the idea of you having a baby at such a young age and they suggested you get an abortion. Suggested, not demanded...suggessted. And you did. Without telling me. I was devestated. Words cannot even begin to describe the depth of pain I was in, the tears I shed, it was pure and utter pain and depresion in it's most honest and purest form. And now you're asking me for another chance. What about my daughter? Why do you deserve another chance when you wouldn't even give her one??! You have no idea how much I hate you. Because of you I will never be able to attend any of her soccer games. Because of you I will never be able to fully experience the joy of a first born child. Because of you I will never be able to teach her to ride a bike, how to catch a ball, how to pick out the right boys, how to stay away from boys, how to drive a car, how to write poetry and countless other things I can now only dream about. Because of you I will never know if whether or not she would have had my green eyes. Because of you I will never be able to give her that last hug before she attends her first day at school. Because of you I have lost and will never know the true love of my life. You ask, beg, demand for my forgivness.... No, Never! I will never forgive you. not until you can give me the daughter I never had back. Until that day... Stay out of my life. |