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By muryan Date: 2002 Jul 23 Comment on this Work [[2002.07.23.21.26.7379]] |
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"Mmmm." I halfway groaned against his lips as he pressed himself against me. We lay there, on his bed in his dorm room, fully clothed and erotically entwined. I gave a mental sigh. Making out with him was fun, but I was tired of him "staying within the bounds." The way he pressed against me told me of what he truly wanted to be doing. I cursed myself for telling him that I was a virgin. To hell with that. I decided that I would have him, and I didn't care what the consequences were. "You know," I said breathlessly, entwining my fingers in his hair to still his advances on my lips and neck. "This is hella fun, but it's also getting very frustrating." He was trembling with the intensity of his need. "Do you want to stop? We could play video games or something..." "No." I said firmly, looking into his eyes. I licked my suddenly dry lips and shook my head. "I want to go...further. No holding back, no more of your chivalry. I'm tired of going only so far, only to have you stop, so we could cool down playing video games." He looked at me in disbelief. "Are you saying that you want to... to... have sex?" "No, I want to wrestle ancient Greek style. Yeah, I want to have sex with you." My well-spoken-Theatre/English-major-boyfriend suddenly turned into a babbling idiot before my eyes. "Well...I mean...are you sure...I mean... You're a...." I rolled my eyes. This was it. No turning back. "I'm not a virgin." He suddenly became very still. Still, and silent. "What." The word popped out of his mouth. Clear, with no sputtering. He was pissed. Great. The mood was totally gone. I suddenly didn't feel so bold. In fact, I felt a little worried now. "I...I'm not a virgin." His teeth were clenched; I could see his jaw tense up. I could feel it. This was going to turn into a fight. I didn't know what to do, I'd never fought with a boyfriend before. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest, I thought it was going to shoot right out. "You said you were. You lied. You lied to me, to...." His words broke off. I knew he was going to say 'to everybody.' He was still shaking, only I knew the desire was gone. He was really mad. "I know... I.." I paused, and swallowed, thinking for a quick excuse as to why I had lied. I knew he didn't like lying, but I didn't think that I would be with Brent long enough for him to find out the truth. None of my relationships ever last longer than a couple of months. I had actually really fallen for him. After five months, my personal record, I truly wanted to be with him. I also thought he'd be thrilled to find that I wasn't a virgin. He didn't want to have sex with a virgin the first time. He had told me once that every girl he ever talked to said that they regretted their first time and hated their first lover. I had to disagree with him on that point, to myself of course. I personally enjoyed my first sexual escapade. But I had told him I was a virgin. Therefore, the farthest we have ever gone with one another was making-out, and well; he had of course felt me up. I couldn't deny him that. But here we were, he knew I wasn't a virgin, and he was furious. His back was turned to me, and he was fuming. "I'm sorry." Was all I could muster. Unfortunately, whereas I had lost all my words, he was finding his quite well. "All this time, we've been together five months and you never told me? I would never have crossed the line with you if you hadn't wanted to do it; all you had to do was tell me you weren't ready yet. Instead, you lied to me. You've led me to believe that you were innocent and not ready, when you've slept with other guys before me? Guys to whom you've obviously told the truth." He paused in his tirade. Then he turned to look at me accusingly. "How many guys have you had sex with, Trish?" I sighed. I couldn't lie to him anymore. He might as well know. And maybe I should add that the three after my initial escapade weren't even great. However, all I could spit out was a measly "Four." I watched his eyes, looking for any change. Nothing. He simply stared at me. "Four." He stated for affirmation. "Yeah." My voice was weak. I was actually on the verge of tears. I don't like confrontations like this, and I'd never had a boyfriend mad at me. I've never been in a relationship long enough for any disputes. "Four guys. What was so special about them that you'd go for them and lie to me to keep me at bay? This is bullshit Trish. Look, why don't you go home or something? I don't really want to talk to you right now." He put his head in his hands and sighed deeply. "Look, Brent, I can explain..." I placed my hand on his shoulder and pleaded with him. He jerked away from my touch. "Go." He didn't even look at me. He was still shaking. I grabbed my bag and went to the door. Looking back at him, I hoped he would forgive me when he cooled off and gave me a chance to explain. If not, I'm sticking to my two-month relationships. |