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By Bridget O Date: 2002 Jul 29 Comment on this Work [[2002.07.29.11.49.4474]] |
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Hello~ I am a smart white girl. I am a self-proclaimed pessimist. I have a negative thing to say about anything, just try me. I absolutely HATE rap music, country, pop, and most classical. I worship Billie Joe Armstrong, Kurt Cobain, Angus Young, Bon Scott, Joe Perry, Tom Delonge, and all those rock Gods. My favorite color is black, and I love to offend people with my clothing and words, which I successfully do each and every day. I love Chinese food, because I eat way too much. I usually end up hating the guys I date, but some of my best friends are guys. When my head hurts I take too many painkillers. I would rather be a boy than a girl any day, there's just so much less pain. I despise the color pink, but love the song "Pink" by Aerosmith. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about me. I get very lonely and tend to cry a lot. When I do, I scream at myself that I'm not a baby so to shut up. When I get really depressed I take things into the woods and smash them with my baseball bat. I have a favorite pair of shoes, and I want to be buried in them. I hate sports; they are a waste of my time. The only thing I do that could be classified as a hobby would be ride my dirt bike. I love the danger. Someday I'll pack up and ride until I hit the ocean, you can count on it. I bite my fingernails, sometimes to the point of bleeding. I think that most women are stronger than most men. I hate people who label me, or anyone else. I wish I could be a princess, I swear to god I'd change the world. I go to church to make my parents happy, but I'm not sure if I believe in anything right now. My mood changes a lot and I think abortions are wrong. I cry about things before they happen. Nothing is forever, nothing at all, at least in my life. I shield myself from falling in love because people just don't understand me. And if they did, they'd probably hate me, so I'm pretty lonely most of the time. I like to write poems but I don't think I'm any good at it. I don't have a very high self-esteem at all and I take comfort in sad negative songs. I love to get hugs, I love to hug, I guess I like to be comforted or something. I can be one of the angriest bitches you'll ever meet. I dislike people with over excessive energy all the time and people with "team spirit", which I have none of. My dog is one of my very best friends. I have "trust issues" I've learned not to trust anyone, except for myself. I get so mad sometimes I think I'll explode. I hate mushy love movies unless they have sad endings. The one person who can make me the saddest is my dad. I've though about killing myself a lot, and it really scares me how different I've become. And I'm not proud of it. I have no patience at all. I see nothing wrong with swearing. I don't like people to get to know me because that leaves me vulnerable, and I hate that position. I'd never smoke cigarettes, or date someone who does. But sometimes I wonder if pot would make me feel better. I don't take crap from anybody And I believe that any shit you can talk behind someone's back, you should have the guts to back up to their face. I'm not afraid of telling anyone how I feel about them. I'm scared to grow up; I'm scared of being nothing, of not accomplishing anything and being alone I get really jealous of everybody almost and it makes me very angry. I'm scared that I might go to hell if I don't straighten up. Some nights I get afraid of the dark because you never know what could be out there. I never want to have kids, they are just so... I mean there great for some people, but I'd end up jumping off a skyscraper. Last night I cried because I knew there was a bottle of 40 painkillers in my room. I hate this little town and I can't wait to get out of Pennsylvania. The majority of people on this earth annoy me. I hate liars. I try as hard as I can not to lie, but some people make me feel like they deserve it. When people lie to me my respect and trust for them goes WAY down. I don't wear make up because I think it's just a way to build yourself up while putting others down. And I almost got kicked out of Macy's because I was yelling "3 cheers for no self esteem" in the huge make up section. My parents sent me this book to read called "The Guide To Rational Living" and it's about "happy lives" I read 5 pages and threw it across the room. Someday I'll burn it. I'm somewhat of a pyromaniac. I have a collection of things I've been meaning to burn: Cd's Pictures A newspaper article Some wrapping paper And pieces of wood I smashed today. I tend to break things, and I always have to have a piece of gum. I have very little hope for love anymore. I hate dresses/skirts/short shorts. My mother says I'm the most anti-feminine female she's ever seen. And then I inform her that she's just jealous. I love to drive fast and I often smell like gasoline. I love to read. I'm scared to death of spiders. When it rains, I pick all the worms off the drive way and put them in a dirt pile, because everything deserves a chance. All I want is to be happy again. I only want to find myself, and I could go on and on there's so much more, and if you want to know, all you have to ask, I'll answer any question. So-have you judged me yet? Are you calling me nuts? No, because you already ran in the other direction. ~Goodbye. |