Poor Granny's future looked mighty bleak after the widow's guardian dumped her off at Granny Dumpers Rest Home and Impoundment. That is, until the day she discovered the WebTV in her wanderings. It was an old gift still boxed, forgotten by all, right in the back room of the librarian's office in old Granny Dumpers.

Quick as she could say Omnibudsman, she had a telephone hooked-up in her room. The home staff seemed sure she couldn't possibly think of any numbers to dial-out from there. Granny just drooled for them as they installed her jack. She had plans! She just babbled at the phone man, sure that Pops was rifling through the phone truck looking for all they needed to hook-up their new treasure.

Wasn't long before she had spliced and connected her way onto some service. Pa Noodles had filched a credit card out of the librarian's purse long enough to get her hooked-up. His years of detention as a youth had not gone wasted. He wasn't resigned to being a rocking chair jockey just yet. He proved his expertise in fishing lure swiping and the purse philfering he had done. This would be reason enough his son, the Congressman, stashed Pa two states away. Pa was incorrigible and too prone to giving interviews when the media could find him.

Poor Granny had to promise old Noodles some internet time for that. She could just imagine the spam he would get her! Oh well, she considered it something to swap with the new 'netties she would meet. She now knew what it might be like swapping cigarettes at the big house ... or cigars at the big white house ... "wait!" ... she didn't mean for her mind to wander there! ... "sorry, senior moment" . For some reason these nurses were constantly asking her who the president was ... "go figure," she thought.

Gran and Pops figured that the old bookworm, Miss Macgillicuddy wouldn't miss a few bucks on the credit card. They knew she had a real addiction for charging things at Victoria's Secret. Okay, so he had rifled through her bills to see what she had bought after finding her "secret" catalogue ... what's a guy to do wasting away in a home! He still could only picture the old biddy in Fruit o' the Loom ... poor man!

But Granny and Pops had a real tug-o-war over the sites that he wanted to see with that credit card. He tried validating his choices by warning her of future chat addictions. She wished! She just barely talked him into the wisdom of just going to free sites instead of risking any more charges to the librarian's card. She even flashed him a knee to jog his memory.

Granny prevailed with reason, she hoped. Pa put the credit card back as deftly as he had swiped it. Then he permanently condemned his soul by taking a whole pack of the librarian's DoubleBubble ... duh! ... he knew where the nasty gum-stuff stuck under the lunchroom seats was coming from now. A source for blackmail! Surprising how enterprising inmates can become in any type of confinement. Pa was no exception.

So Granny and Pa were off to see the wonders of the internet. Pa had another widow mailing him him jokes before the day was out. But Granny counted on Pa needing frequent naps to get her time in on the chat rooms she picked. She loved the ocean. Too bad they didn't let her bring her shells to the home. So she figured finding sailors would be a good place to start chatting. Trying the search words of "sea and "ocean" had only gotten her some angry environmentalists. She wanted to argue, Pops could do that. She needed friends.

Ever the cynic, old Noodles warned her of only finding love and trust with a trustee. She knew Pops even cheated at the weekly bingo games. And, she cringed at his lack of being able to "name that tune" on the afternoons he wanted to hold her hand in that event. Her prospects were just too limited. She didn't want to do like old Wandering Wanda and haunt the new admissions office watching for possibilities of new friends. Granny had an inkling of the odds. So she hugged her webby, made a wish in spite of Pa's chat addiction warnings. Then Granny logged on.

This is the story of her chatting and how she met Minimum Bob, the Cereal Killer (for Granny's sake, we hope this isn't a typo). He took her away from old Granny Dumpers. Let's watch these old farts prove that there really is the chance of a fairytale romance coming true afterall ... :)