By Madison
Date: 2002 Sep 08
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[[2002.09.08.12.15.18393]]

trust issues: a self-fulfilling prophecy

    There were some of us who ran from relationship to relationship
    because we were afraid of rejection.  It could be a week, a
    month, or seeds of seasons scattered in a void, but soon - for
    reasons we'd pay for in secrets and sighs, it was over again.
 
    After the warm breath on the back of our necks had cooled,

    there were still the attachments and the simplicity of elegant
    emotions rising too close to our inelegant surface.  And we
    rode those Ferris wheel feelings for awhile, until we were left
    too long at the top.  We'd slam the gates in deliberate naïveté,
    or play the card of love-sabotage when we meant to be playing
    for keeps.  By getting out early, we guaranteed we'd never be
    the one left behind.  We held in harmless hands a power and in
    it, a mistaken strength.  In search of a rejection-free romance,
    we took exceptional control of unexceptional relationships.  
    When the risks were counted and everything was said, done,
    lost or reduced, where were our own rejections aimed? ... At
    ourselves, in a fool's paradise - with all four walls, if love could
    be contained, of romanticism's possibilities lying at our feet.

 

08 sept 02
M Madison