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By Max-Rom Date: 2002 Sep 08 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.08.23.13.10197]] |
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The truth is, it really hurts. I thought I was okay with the facts but I wasn't. How could I be? Just the mere thought of someone else's hands touching you makes me cringe deeper than on the surface. I want to lash out in some way. I would love to go to the dollar store and by a load of those cheap glasses. Just to beat the hell out of them with a baseball bat in a grass field. If I could, I would scream at the top of my lungs. But I wouldn't do that. What good would it do to lose my voice. Over this? I can't erase it from memory. Nor can I lock it in a vault never to be brought up again. I know you care about me and all my feelings. But if you really care why then would you do that to yourself? And then you tell me about it? Perhaps you wanted me to share your pain. I felt it all the first time you told me. The first time you made a stupid mistake. The funny thing about it is I feel stupid too. In a way I am a coward because I can't tell you these things in person, instead having to write them on a piece of paper. I guess it makes it easier for me to have you read them than hear the words reluctantly uttered from my lips. However awkward these past few days may feel, I still hold you right next to my heart. I will continue to do this because I believe in 'us'. I'll always love you more than myself because you are all I desire. Even though you or I may make mistakes, I'll never create a space between us. I believe in honest communication. It is for this reason I write this honest letter. Love always, Me ~~{@ |