a Halloween entry/or breaking and entering on a website? oh, hack-hack-hack-hack-hack -- enough of the funnies -- off with the head(lines) and on with the bad Halloween poetry!

Who know what lurks .... Wait ... wrong page! Sometimes I get things all turned around. Let me find a mirror ....

Picking out Halloween costumes
with Count Vlad and then ...

TAERT RO KCIRT

My first worst boyfriend, Count Vlad the Impaler. Oh, I'll never forget him! I even invited him to go Trick or Treat once again on Halloween. My old sweety, Count Vlad was glad when I mentioned he could have his "pick" of costumes for us to Trick or Treat out here in the back country "sticks" ... careful now, he's gotten real fast and slick. He now calls himself Count Vlad the Impala. He claims my "Impaler" is a typo. He changed his resume with birthplace as Pennsylvania instead of Transylvania. And, he no longer gives Jack Werewolf, Bela La Mummy or Herman Munster as references. But I know him for who (or what) he really is. He and Mr. Phew E. Loungelizard are still best friends. Unlike me, all the rest of his dates have been one-night stands.

KNOCKING ON DOORS WITH VLAD!
What a hard concept to teach him!
But he's game when the lights are dim.
He's a guy who likes tricks
and treats, if I let him bring along some sticks.

Let's check some of his costume picks:
(knowing him, we should frisk him for "picks")
I could swear you had the shape of something human.
(cripes, try the wolf costume, sweety!)
To reach and touch you, belies my thoughts of demon.
(that Al Gore mask just ain't you)

(How would I describe you?)
In your strong embrace, I feel most secure.
(hey, leggo my eggo and bank card!)
Maybe a little too close to a strange nature.
(that pink tutu is soooo NOT you!)

I see your grin too large, your laugh -- a howl.
(you as Miss Piggy makes me want BBQ)
Your eyes and their bright gleam outshine any owl.
("piercing" is such a good word with you)

What are you now ... please tell me true?
(swearing on a stack of pretzels won't do!)
I am starting to feel drained by you!
(you didn't clear out my 401K for THAT cape?!)

(Sun's also rising soon, soooooo ...)
Oh, Vlad, ... get out your glad rags,
and I"ll get some Halloween bags, ...
and let's go for some candy
you handsome fang-blessed dandy!

Oh, Vlad ... don't be so sad
last year you were soooooo bad!
This year, I'm telling you, "NO more trick
or treaters on a stick!"
(Vlad, put down THAT STICK!)
(Don't grin at me like THAT!)
(Until you clean the strawberry tart candy off those fangs!)
(Whadda ya mean -- "What Candy?")
(Vlad! Where's my Cousin Andy?!!!)

halloween haikuzilla

oh, hunk of my dreams my handsome monsterous hunk I said "trick" AND "treat"

dance with me again but do not step on my toes godzilla-lover

careful there, sweety hungry growl in your tummy hope it's for candy

(c) 2002 Rennie Lorca

This was too much fun, Gala. Thanks!