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By lulu Date: 2002 Sep 30 Comment on this Work [[2002.09.30.16.00.8253]] |
| Im trembling from lack of sleep. My body is weak and limp. I often have to rest my head craving a pillow. My eye lids are so strong and need to rest they almost stick to the bottom of my eyes like magnets. i have to smack my self and stay awake. Coffee and sugar have stopped working. I struggle to go through each minute like its an hour. I am drained emotionally and physically. I cant remember the last time I had a full nights rest. My body, once one that ran through life never slowing down, now shuffles and stumbles in and out of each day. I can barely scrap up enough energy to breath, much less smile. To smile..to truly smile..would be pure bliss. But now I am too weak to move. Every muscle in my body is crying for rest, but when I try to rest I cant. The scilence causes me to think, all i can do is think, think of my life what it, is what it was and what it has become. I try to pull away from those who touch me, who try to help me but its becoming harder and harder each day. I fear I will soon need to rest on them and rely on them, but that would be against every thing i am and stand for. I thought I could never fall but each day i crumble and slip a little more. One day I will regain my strength and I will be just as i was before but first i must get some sleep.... |