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By Misti Date: 2002 Oct 24 Comment on this Work [[2002.10.24.14.56.21644]] |
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the moon was full I think hiding behind clouds and the streets were wet and you asked me what was the big deal about shaken not stirred and where the hell did that come from anyway and I said James Bond and gentlemen are precise and I said someone who drinks tall cans of beer from Fort Worth is not precise you are not a gentleman sir and you laughed and at Wal-Mart you thought about a bottle of vodka and I suggested Jack Daniels instead and you said Jack Daniels is for white trash college kids we should get Southern Comfort and be like Janis yeah right the day I drink a liqueur and I didn't think then of the last time I drank Jack Daniels from a bottle but I'm thinking of it now and I still say foolishness and deviance can be a great holy thing if you don't let it drown you but you are still scarred still say I'm on probation but you buy me a scanner and a sweater and materials for my collages let me scream at you and drive me to Kinko's even though you need to piss and last night in bed we laughed like it was all new and you asked me why can't I always be silly you should be married to an always silly girl and I suggested you marry a Cancer and then I turned my back on you when you talked about the Woman in Red from New York the ghost your father thought was a prostitute making small talk in Cold Spring saving you from a watery end then the little boy killed by the boiler explosion in the theater downtown and more ruminations on The Others and the frat guy ghost on Paradise Road I told you I'd have nightmares and I'd hate you but just now I awoke from the best dream I've had in a long time summer me in a white bikini the only grown woman in the midst surrounded by partying teenagers I think they were all Native but I don't know which tribe and I was running from wild animals and I was scared but I had power and there was water to jump into deep cold water me barefoot in my white bikini not worried about anything not even my hair ageless beautiful powerful glowing under the sun glowing under the stars and all the planets magical whimsical morality free me drinking vodka wishing it was Jack Daniels telling my young friends my husband says it's for white trash and the guys with long black hair and sweet solemn faces were singing one was playing an acoustic guitar and the stars were winking down and I was found I was home suddenly in love with the quiet one the one who stood back and watched me not smiling and I wondered if he thought I was too old and disgusting to be there and later I found out that he loved me and we were in love blissed out and I felt guilty and rushed but I was determined to savor the night because he thought I was pure gorgeous and mysterious and he was quiet like me and he wasn't into bullshit so we flew to Saturn and made love on the ring and my screams echoed through the cosmos and I was an angel at last and he carried me home and it was all about embrace and not letting go he was a senior in high school and I was almost thirty and we were free and knew everything that mattered and everything made perfect sense and now I'm thinking of you as a senior in high school a quiet Italian intellectual who wrote music and performed in the Steel Gypsies and hitchhiked with your friends and ate apples in an orchard pretending to be gay to piss off the football players connecting with your first Aquarian love outside the Met eating hot dogs in Central Park and me down in Texas going crazy over a white guy who claimed to be half-Comanche even though he had blonde hair and blue eyes me having a psychosomatic pregnancy even though I was a virgin tainted but not penetrated I think of us then before all this back when we were naked and glowing under a benevolent sky... |