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By Chances are Date: 2002 Dec 06 Comment on this Work [[2002.12.06.07.04.30608]] |
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Here I go again on my own, sounding like a bad line from some sick song. Except that I'm still here, with him, after all these years. Finally, all the lies are told, the truth emerges, whole and complete, compelling a new start. The ring says it will be him. What I thought was right was wrong; what I thought I could do, I couldn't. What everyone thought was right and wrong. Are you confused? The promises don't matter anymore - I don't think anyone keeps them. Dragged through the muck again and again, I went searching for the golden truth in a sea of shit. No chance of drowning with a brass snorkel - just don't open your mouth. Finally it emerges - another two-headed monster jealously guarding himself, seeking guarantees to purchase precious self-assurance with a woman of chances. Make you a deal - well who cares? I'll be this, you be that, let's do a trade. Let's look no further than an instant - forget the past, your non-identity and false memories, forget the future, your stupid hopes and ridiculous dreams. Here's a world that you won't forget, a silver star shooting past against the backdrop of a red moon. The aquamarine water is black at night. The waves in the ocean are comforting, I wanted them to wash over me and make me clean. They kill the reflections on the water, tonight - that night - there are none. I am glad. Like the bag that holds my wedding dress, still filthy with a torn hem. Another costume, anyway. No credit to repair it, no point. Get in, come for a spin. Do everything you thought you'd never do. Life's nothing like you thought it would be. Let your precious idealism be spun out in this hedonistic world of sex. Do it now. Can you do it? Are you just like everyone you know? How are your judgments? Are you relieved? Are you really so surprised? You yearned him from the very first moment you ever saw him. You wanted him; he could use you for sex. He couldn't do it. He lied. He lived. He lost. He won. |