By Chances are
Date: 2002 Dec 07
Comment on this Work
[[2002.12.07.05.11.16713]]

Us

I am
And can't apologise any more
I made mistakes
I walked out the door
Perhaps I've said too much
And I don't know if I've changed

My feelings are complex
I am that moth
There is more than one flame
I've already been burned
No matter which way I turn
That's life, always the same

I want a blanket of security
To wrap around me
But a ring isn't a blanket
It's a symbol of love
That needs to be nurtured
And treated with respect

So help me God
On my perfect wedding day
I thought it was you
I walked down the aisle
With uncertainty and a coldsore
But we were perfect

I want it all back
I'm so angry it went
That I didn't know
What you were doing
So I could stop you
To fix it and rediscover our love

Your attention from me
Has been gone for years
Leaving me mixed up
With emotions and tears
How lucky are those
Who say they don't have them

Or who have all the answers
And think that they know you
To mediate between
And know false from true
Or what's even important
Or think they are God-sent

I thought there may have been
Another who loved me more truly
More deeply and honestly
Or perhaps the compromises
Might just have been worth it
But we both blew it

You say that you've fixed it
I believe you and start again
But secretly I'm left wondering
The anger in me over boiling
And I really don't know if
I can do it again

I'm still left reeling
My reactions have hurt you
I finally broke through
I think with sad satisfaction
But it really isn't helping
Now you're angry too

You're making the changes
You're trying to show me
That this time it's for real
And turn fortune's wheel
The circumstances have left me
With just you to confide in

My honesty has become a weapon
I can't help fighting you and the lies
Even though they're not there
Anymore and new beginnings
Are so hard to find
Where can I start?

Because the history we know
The family unit we show
Is all that we share
Maybe that's all I could care
Is this what I deserve
And will there be more

Good or bad, love or hate
For better or for worse
To trust or mistrust
Turn this sickness to health
Make this house a home
Something we can call OUR own