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By Richard E. Murphy Date: 2002 Dec 24 Comment on this Work [[2002.12.24.13.04.31330]] |
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New Years Eve Without You The office is now dark, quite and isolated, for the staff has departed to ready themselves for this New Years Eve. Laughter and holiday good will verbiage exchanged in the hallways...long silenced now. As I sit here, I feel so lonely... my thoughts seem to linger to the dark and stormy aspects of my life...unable to focus on the good or realize accomplishments made over the last year. Kinda stuck in the grays and blacks that my life is so often shaded by. The shadows of yesterday seem so persistent and unrelenting. Past regrets and shortcomings seem to fill my head like a levy about to break after endless summer rains. My world so utterly cold, wet, and dark! Where do I begin...or is there really a starting place that one can pinpoint? What was the onset...how did I get there? Are there really any answers to this tortuous dilemma ? Why and I left with these questions and why do the answers escape me? Where the hell am I really at in life? Better yet, who the hell am I? I seemed to have known "me" yesterday... today is a different chapter in life...maybe even a different novel. This quest for "truth" seems to be beyond my simpleminded comprehension... or mortal conviction. God are you there? Are you listening to my cries? Do you hear my plea? Am I grasping for answers that don't exist? How do I turn off these thoughts and feelings? For they seemingly have no answers or solution. Just where do I find peace? That is..."If" there is peace to be found. God are you listening? Are you even there? Do sinners, like me, even really deserve the right to make these requests to you??? OK...time for reflection...introspection...conclusion... Sadly...I'm left with none of these...I'm still lost and searching for answers... Why must "life" be filled with so many questions and yet...so few answers? God...can you help me? Yes... A sinner I am, who is making this request...can you help me with just a few answers? I'll even take a few clues...anything! Please? Hello God????? are you there? |