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By coujeaux Date: 2003 Feb 08 Comment on this Work [[2003.02.08.07.43.16521]] |
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I have learned the greatest lessons in my life from my own triumphs and failures. But my guidemap, my divining rod, if you will, has been the insight imparted to me by the elder women in my life. Their wisdom and wise counsel, among other things, pointed me in the proper direction to find the answers I needed when the time came for me to discover different aspects of life and love. It started, of course, with Mama. :) She has ALWAYS been the primary influence upon me, whether it be her doting love or her determination or her strength or her exceptional intellectual pursuits. She was the one that would most often read to me, from the time I was old enough to sit on her lap and follow along, which of course fueled a lifelong love of the written word and my attempts at mastery of the craft. She reared me in her stead, on her own, by her rules, with support always and admonitions where necessary. Her own upbringing by my insanely gifted maternal grandmother and hard-working grandfather had much to do with the legacy of fierce pride, self-reliance and passion for written communication that was passed down to me as the years have moved forward. I look at some of the verse and wordplay that Marney (Mama to my Mama, God rest her soul) commanded and think to myself how awed I always have been by her creativity, passion for and facility with the English language. She would probably have busted a coronary at my blatant disregard for poetic convention and the occasion liberties I take with grammar, but if you were ever curious as to how my unique style came to be, there is traceable lineage through the maternal bloodlines. And if parents out there want to foster a love and command for language in your children, the best way I know of to harvest such a bounty is to identify the readers among your brood and allow them as much access as possible to books and libraries that present the finest examples of composition in whatever dialect it is you may speak. We learn to communicate by doing just that, and those in the world who deliver words with expertise are not accidental geniuses-they have innate ability crafted by long hours of practice and patience. (Tell me of other 7 year olds who wrote with some modicum of authority on the historic religious hatred inherent in the Middle East with the appropriately titled "Lebanon Blues". Love of the Delta music, knowledge of human interaction and poetics have been with me longer than my testosterone, people. Which of these is in greatest supply, however, is not a quantifiable item. ;)) It is an oft-stated fact that our women are the glue of who we are, and learned, experienced women as a whole have more to teach than men of similar age. Period. I am not downplaying the education level of our grandfathers and elder statesmen at all; I defer to their insight and teachings always when I detect they have invaluable advice or information that might benefit myself or my loved ones, and obviously the patriarchal structure of most recorded civilizations would dictate that men have owned more of the thrones and historians than their uterined counterparts. But no matter whether masculine nobility satisfied their ambitions through pursuits of lands, wealth, acclaim or other trappings of power, the women of their lives oversaw the mansions, the lands, the thrones, the children, or the men who were commanded to oversee them. Even when they had no formal say in financial or political matters of community or state, the ladies were at the side or behind the scenes of the men who made the news and the decisions. To quote one longtime sage friend of my family: "Don't tell me about the 'oppression' of women. They control 80% of the world's wealth and 100% of the pussy." From historically being the bonders of the societal atom we call family to being possessors of the single most alluring prize men have ever been lured by, females have shaped everything from dinner schedules and social gatherings to international monetary policy and sexual opinions on a worldwide scale. They bear the children, they make up a majority of educators, and populate legislatures, judicial bodies and places of fiscal responsibility in the United States and around the world in numbers greater than ever before. Male appreciation for their wiles and allure has been perhaps the most documented reason for composition from the inception of written communication, with lament of their ability to tear at the fragile machismo present in most of my gender running a close second. Most religions assign the role of nurturer and lifebringer to women, even going so far as to attribute the feminine persuasion to Earth itself as it does the vessels that traverse it. The reach and influence of womankind has been understood if not underdocumented since the dawn of our times, and to this day the truly unique virtues and abilities of les Femmes grow greater still with the rise of proud and strong woman authors. Having matured with a limited number of positive male presences in my life and a large contingent of strong female influences, it seems obvious that I would possess a healthy appreciation for women, right? My explorations of the fairer sex notwithstanding, I took the examples shown to me by the gifted and determined ladies around me and fashioned them to my own opinions and outlook on life. From Mama to my three elder sisters to my experiences with mature lovers, all of this instruction served to teach me that the wisest ears were tuned to feminine frequencies, and the most accurate opinions on what women think, aspire to and revile were obvious to men willing to pay close attention to what information was readily available. Learn to make love from women, not men. Listen to EVERYTHING they say, for you might miss something valuable if you ignore their words. They have the same capacity as men for brilliance, honor, failure and deceit on unthinkable levels. They have unique strengths and weaknesses, unchartable capacities for goodness and treachery, and nuggets of intellectual gold as valuable as any man's pearls cast before swine. Understand who they are as human beings, as women, as mothers, daughters, sisters, lovers and leaders. Know the unique marbling of their soul with love, frailty, compassion and instinct, all spiced with the limitations of flesh and the infinity of dreams. So many of the defining moments of my life come back to me, each populated by a woman I loved and who loved me. Rubbing the blistered feet of my Mama, her achin' dogs barking having worked her third job of the week in hopes of keeping a lamp lit in the house she was agonizing how to pay for; lifting the unconscious, cocaine-ridden body of my most recent lover from the mixture of feces, urine and menstrual blood that had collected on the bathroom floor around her as she failed to make it to the toilet when her body violently reacted to her latest hit of blow; the alluring brown eyes and magnetic smile of that selfsame lover as she and I would lay next to each other and talk about nothing for what seemed forever; remembering the face of my beloved Marney and her gentle yet firm guidance that she gave me before she aspired to Heaven; seeing all of my sisters sass, fight, love, party and learn of their own worlds as I figured out my own...all of these inspirations inculcated into me a deference and humility for their power and influence greater upon me than any man, bettering me than any holy book or father figure ever would. Every time I hug my Mama, my sisters, think back to my grandmothers or remember the multitude of different women I've known for a night or longer, every time I see a shapely female and admire her up close or afar, every time I hear the sweet lilt of a woman's voice or the magic in her eyes at some discovery that pleases her, every time I see the tears, the smiles, hear the laughter, witness the intelligence, the experiences or feel the sensual charms and the orgasmic voice and shake of a lover, I remember how my life has centered upon and been enriched by these wholly beautiful and labyrinthine creatures. I state here what is known, but I say it again to the collective eyes and attempt to touch as many hearts and minds and souls as possible with my words. And God created woman...I say to anyone present, oh yes He did. |