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By jwb71913 Date: 2003 Feb 26 Comment on this Work [[2003.02.26.07.38.26413]] |
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The birds were singing, and she moved closer to me as I lay there sweating, heart pounding and breath ragged. I could feel the warmth of her breath on my back, and her arm reached across my body as she snuggled closer. It was time to get up, but the alarm hadn't sounded yet, and I waited for a few minutes until the fear subsided. She was warm and sleeping soundly, the result of the alcohol that she poured into her belly every day, starting often before nine o'clock in the morning. She smelled faintly of alcohol and sex, but she smelled good to me. She had been with her other man the night before, and had promised that there had been no sex, but I couldn't know. I was crazy enough to believe her; sick enough to say that this was okay, that she loved me. She had told me the night before that he had come over, and couldn't stay. Part of me wished that he had, because she had lied when I asked about him, told me that she wasn't seeing him at all, all the while insisting that because she had integrity that she couldn't lie to me. Integrity, what an ambiguous word for a woman on a wild roller coaster, who could scream from the deepest hole to the wildest ride in a matter of hours. Honesty seems to be what's honest for the moment, not lasting truth. But I loved her, and I couldn't see her in pain without trying to help. |