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By Lulu Date: 2003 Apr 07 Comment on this Work [[2003.04.07.18.31.28225]] |
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I'm standing there.. Watching my own blood run down my leg. Watching the pains subside.. Watching them all wash away. I didnt mean to do it.. Well..I didnt mean to at first. I'm staring at this huge gash in my flesh.. like a portal of all my pain. I bled for 20 minutes.. and I'm still bleeding now. Everything is rushing out.. its such a relife. My aching has been soothed for the time being.. But the guilt is starting to set it. The guilt of knowing I have to stop, The guilt from other people, The guilt from myself. I bled through four band-aids in less than an hour. I bled through every ache and pain I had. I sat there...I stared at the blood.. I stared at the cut.. The blood washed away all my pain. The tears are comming back.. As I think of How I'm falling back into this bleeding hell.. As I think of another lie..to cover up for the cuts.. This one is so big...I dont know what I'm going to say.. but It will be something to get them off my back. I'm trying not to think of how amazing it felt as the blood made crimson clouds in the bath water.. Then..I snapped out of it.. Went to make sure the trail of blood was gone.. Threw away the blood-soaked Bath towl.. And let it all out... Maybe after this, the blood wont feel so good.. |