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By carol Date: 2003 Apr 09 Comment on this Work [[2003.04.09.23.43.7589]] |
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u pased by me in the hall our sholders colided (your fault completly) then u turned gave me that smile the one that broke me a million times b4 then u motioned towards my hair and asked what i did i simply replied "its called die fag" (lame..and wrong.but it almost felt good to get to be the imature one between the two of us) you smiled that smile again THINKING u know why i was so mad why i couldent look up to meet ur eyes but u dident know u thought that i still need u and thats y i wouldent look up its not that at all but i know if i look u in the eyes then i'll reamber the good times that we did have and as over him as i am i dident want to brake down and cry infront of him he had seen or knew that i had cryed over him to many times already i took a deep breath and tryed to brush past.. but he stoped me by grabing my arm non to lightly i look him dead in the eye and told him if he dident let go i was going to kick his ass infront of all this football friends (minded he is about 2 times taller then me and weighs 2 times more then i do.. and can pbenchpress more then i weigh) and it was almost as if he was still his little dorky self looking at me as if he knew i could do it then looking down at his present body and laughing the sound i once lived and breathed on i snatched my arm away and walked as fast as i could to my locker.. but i know his eyes followed me not my butt but me he looked me over and i know what he was thinking then he frowned just as i tunred around to look at him now that i felt at a safe distance he was frowning i hadent seen him do that since his grandfather died (in the 6th grade) and then it all came back he saw the look on my face knew that he had goten to me smiled BIG one last time and this time he turned first to walk away but my voice stoped him i dident know i had the will to speack but i called him name and anough so he heard me and i smiled and look him in te eyes this time with more power and laughed one short sweet almost preppy laugh and look puzzled How could she laugh? she is still saposed to love me? how dont i have power over her? she meet me in the eyes on purpase and won the stare. i'm sure he is siting up right now wondering how i did that and wondering what changed thinking how it could be that its his night to sit up and think of me for once and i am not worried about him i have another and now i won our game he wont bother me for a while not until he thinks he knows why it is i have this new found power and the will try again only to fail and after a while he wont even look me in the eyes anymore i think i might say hello to him in the morning and see if HE can look ME into the eyes this time and i know he wont his friends dident see how i beat him but he knows it and so do i thats the first time i ever had that strenth to look at him like that to stare at him like he was nothing to me and honestly the only reason i could do it was because he is nothing to me a memorie a discarded memorie lost abused unwanted unmissed* i looked him in the eyes i knew i was over him but i dident think i could ever do that but i did and it felt great to be the one to win one of his games he made it up and lost it!! lol i never thought thank god.......i finaly cliped HIS wings) |