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By Anonymous One Date: 2003 May 07 Comment on this Work [[2003.05.07.16.10.7518]] |
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"You know we would be perfect for each other. You like me, and I like you. But you know that it would never work out. You used to be with my best friend Jimmy, and I could never hurt him like that..." When Raymond told me that, I already understood. I've known Raymond for quite a while now - we went to high school together. Raymond and I were the best of buds, unseparable. We were like two peas in a pod, I was his Thelma and he was my Louise; well not exactly like that. I began to develop feelings for him in time. He was everything that I could look for in a guy. He had a great personality, very caring, understanding, he had a huge sense of humor, and one major thing that set him off from the others was he was always there for me. I wanted to keep my feelings from him, because, well let's face it, dating your best friend isn't quite a good idea. His friendship was something that I will always treasure. I was scared to tell him that I had a "more than friends" feeling towards him, because I didn't want things to become awkward between us if he didn't feel the same. So we remained friends. I dated around, and he did the same. One day he tells me that he wants me to get to know his other best friend Jimmy. I do as he says, and I dated him for a while. Let me get one thing straight, Jimmy was a great guy and everything, but there was always something missing. A part of me always felt empty, and I knew what was missing and who was the one to fill it - Raymond. I didn't want to keep on dating Jimmy, if I knew that I had feelings for someone else. I ended up breaking it off with him a couple of months after dating for a while. He didn't seem to hurt, hell, he got with another girl right after me. Raymond dated other girls, non-stop. Each week it would be a new girl. I always asked myself, "Why can't he just be satisfied with just one girl???" And later, I found out, it was because I was the only girl that he really had his eye on. It frustrated me, to think that regardless of his feelings towards me, he would still try to get me to date his friend. And they were the type of friends, who wouldn't date the same girls. Now I knew that there was no chance of he and I being together. Was he purposely trying to sabatoge what could have been a great relationship? I don't know. Maybe he was scared of the same thing I was scared of - losing such a great friendship. I guess crossing that thin line between friendship and love is not such a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I love him like a fat kid loves chocolate brownies. But it can't be nothing more than that. I guess you could say that I am happy with the way things are, even if I don't have that extra lovin' that only he could have provided. He still loves me anyways. And I guess whatever type of love he can provide me with, is okay with me. As long as I know that he's there and that he'll always care. I just want to say... Thank you for being my best friend. |