bumpin' scriptwriter jim

NO CANNES DO

(like most folks, hope you won't read the fine print)

book to film rights fodder,
that publisher's daughter
went even farther to sing;
hear some familiar ring?

remember, in a screen wider,
singing about being so vain;
and then that itsy bitsy spider
climbing up the spout again?

looking back, we just realized
so we're not stealing from you
just how much you plagiarized
we'll have a screenwriter redo

so check charts, you're in a fix
bathtub dingy's making a ring
wine's gone to vinegar, (hic!)
more like white lightnin's sting

from editors, to laughing director,
please ignore that hooting grip,
a raz-burying studio visitor's quip,
........ and the heckling spectator!

P.S. we regretfully wish to inform you
... humm, how to phrase this note . . .
as drama or comedy, we took a vote;
X so/too many bad lines, won't float!

So in film credits, will not mention you.
We're putting this "boat" (and film clip)
where it belongs (give Cannes adieu)
in a ( sinking loveboat ) rejection slip!

(c) 2003 Rennie Lorca
(Maggie refuses to take credit for this!)