|
By indefensible sushi Date: 2003 Jun 08 Comment on this Work [[2003.06.08.13.37.30739]] |
|
So this one night the little girl said to her daddy, "Daddy, tell me a bedtime story." Now, it was already WAY late, and the little girl should have been sound asleep long, long ago, but the daddy was thoughtful and benevolent so he said, "OK." After he told his story, the little girl was pleased but still not satisfied. She wanted another story. The daddy obliged yet again, this time not so much because he was benevolent (he was - more or less) but because he was also something of a pushover. The leaves outside the window made an insistent rustling sound as the wind blew. "Daddy, that sound scares me." She said. "It's just the wind," Munchkin. "Did I ever tell you about the wind?" "No, daddy. Tell me about the wind!" "OK. You know how you get those annoying pieces of fuzz sometimes on those sweaters Mommy makes for you? And you try to brush them off but that makes them just stick even harder? Well, the wind is what happens when God tries to blow one of those pieces of fuzz off His sweater." The man's daughter looked lost. "Munchkin...the earth is like God's sweater. Get it?" "Oh!" Now she understood (but she really didn't). "Is God watching me, Daddy?" She asked. "Yes, He is. He's looking down and grinning when he sees what a good girl you're growing up to be!" "Wow..." She was amazed. "Tell me one more story, Daddy!" Daddy was a bit peeved by this time, so in a rare flash of meanness, he decided to tell her a scary story - one that certainly wouldn't make her want another. "I will tell you a story of a very bad monster then," he said. "Oooh Daddy... Will I be scared?" "Maybe. That's what little Munchkins get, though, when they make Daddy stay up all night telling stories!" She giggled. And so he told the story: It seems that one night, in a house conincidentally very much like the one the little girl lived in, there was a monster hiding outside of the bedroom window waiting for lights-out time. Why was he waiting for lights-out time? So he could open the window and creep inside, of course. Sure enough, the light was eventually turned off, and in came the monster (on little cat's feet, no less, so he couldn't be heard). What happened next was nothing if not predictible, and the little girl to whom the story was being told was duly terrified - but the daddy felt it should be told nonetheless if only as a cautionary tale. For what? (You ask.) The daddy didn't know; he only knew that he was damned tired and this storytelling nonsense had to stop. The little girl started to cry. "It's just a story, Munchkin!" He reassured her. "You know, make-believe - like, um, I dunno, Mommy's culinary skills! Uh...or Daddy's Resume!" Now she was not only terrified but thoroughly confused as well. He was contrite. "Daddy just told a lie, Munchkin. And Daddy's sorry. The REAL story goes like this..." The revised tale proceeded along these lines: See, it wasn't a MONSTER that was hiding outside the window, but Santa Claus (even though it was October 15th - an inconvenient but unavoidable fact). And what did Santa do but come in the window and fill the room with presents! The little girl was finally smiling again. "I am tired, Daddy. Would you please turn the light out?" "Sure thing, Munchkin." The daddy smiled, feeling quite pleased with his clever maneuvering. And so the light went out and the daddy shut the door and - oh so quietly, as thought on tiny little cat's feet! - the monster crept in through the now-open window. |