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By Miss Emotional Date: 2003 Jun 15 Comment on this Work [[2003.06.15.20.44.4219]] |
| Again? WHY? All these emotions running through my head... What's so wrong with me that you don't want me? You're with HER, and I'm not good enough?! I'm not saying I'm the greatest, but she's not for you. We are practically made for each other, yet you don't realize it- we click so perfectly, we laugh at the same things, we just have that special... connection. And you have to realize that. From the first time I met you, I knew both of us could tell. We have that bond- We can be in a crowded room, but it still feels like we're the only two in it. We meet eyes and I forget all of my problems and it's just... us. It's just us that matters at that moment in time, and nobody can break through our bond. Yes, I understand that you have a girlfriend. And I'm not going to do anything to interfere with your relationship, trust me. I guess if it's meant to be, then it will be. So you heard that I had a thing for you- and to them you acted totally oblivious. Right. OKAY. You say 'Oh I never meant for this to happen...' about me liking you. Nothing hurt worse than my best friend telling me that. I acted like it was no big deal of course, "Miss It's No Big Deal I Didn't Care Anyway". But I do. I do care. I care so much it kills me because I want to be with you so much. I never have feelings like this for anyone, you have to understand that. I'm not desperate, I could get other people and pretend to be happy, but I'm bigger than that. I don't want them. I only have eyes for you, but there's nothing I can do to make you want me in return. Maybe, just maybe though. What if I lost a few pounds? Started fake bake tanning again? What will it take? Of course, I love being with you, being your friend and all, but that want- that desire- to be with you will always linger. And it's going to tear me apart inside. I can't keep feeling like I have to drink to have an excuse to call you and vent out my emotions and what I'm feeling, but that's what it's coming to. I can't say what I need to when I'm sober. I can't. But here it is again, ONCE AGAIN, that I find someone but it just can't be... I'll have to work on myself first I guess and then you'll want me. Then we'll see- |