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By Dana Date: 2003 Jun 18 Comment on this Work [[2003.06.18.12.27.16902]] |
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Often I want to get a hold of you and tell you all the things that bother me about you. Like the fact that you are completely self absorbed and can't see past your own selfishness to realize how badly you have hurt your father. You're old enough to realize that your mother is brainwashing you to believe all these terrible things about him ever since the divorce simply because she no longer loves him and is spiteful. You turned out to be the spitting image of her, in every way. Well, he still loves you. He always will. Every Father's Day I have to watch the pain in his eyes, watch the tears form every time the phone rings as he jumps to pick it up only to never hear your voice. I wonder if you would even care if you knew how often his heart breaks thinking of you. He's done nothing but support you and believe me you're missing out on the wonderful person you're father is. I know first hand because he raised me more than my own father has. He's been nothing but wonderful. All the times I hated him and did everything I could to make him miserable and want to leave us because I hated that he took my father's place. After all we've been through, he always stood by me, knowing it was just difficult for me to adjust to my mom having a boyfriend. When I met you, I thought I'd have a sister. We're close in age and got along well until you decided to stop all contact for no apparent reason of your own without warning, without even letting us all know. Every holiday, every birthday, every Father's Day, I have to see the pain, the frustration, the look of wonder; wondering what he did that was so wrong. Then he and my mom married and no word from you although you received the invitation. Then you got married and unfortunately, you were so thoughtless that he did not receive an invitation. That day I saw the worst pain yet. The pain of not being able to walk his little girl down the aisle. The pain of not being important enough to even be invited. I'm not looking forward to seeing the tears when you have your first child. The look of sadness of not being able to hold his grandchild, of not knowing him or her. I'm sure that child will grow up thinking your father abandoned you or a similar ridiculous story you'll make up to cover your own stupidity. It pains me to see him write you every birthday, every holiday and to receive no thank you in return, to sit by the phone during his birthday and Father's Day, knowing you won't call, but still believing, still hoping. So many have all ready told him to forget you and move on but, we all know that he can't; that it's just too hard. You're his only child. The daughter he has millions of pictures of, that he often looks at and remembers; because all he has now are the memories; no today, no tomorrow, just the memories. That's all you'll give him. I often want to hunt you down and scream at you until I lose my voice but, I know that would do no good. You're completely heartless and certainly don't try to hide it. I try so hard to fill your place. To treat him the way he deserves to be treated, like my own father, but, no matter what I do, he'll always feel the pain you created inside, his heart will always ache for you. I just hope that one day, you'll realize what an ass you've been, and you'll apologize everyday for the rest of your life, because at this point, that's what he deserves from his daughter, and because he's so great, he'd forgive you in a heartbeat even though you are not deserving of him. |