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By Linsey Submitted by hellomynameis Date: 2003 Jun 22 Comment on this Work [[2003.06.22.22.53.29987]] |
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We Questioned Each other. Tom and I met when he was 15 and I was 13. Ever hear of how your first love never "works out?" This was the absolute truth. I never believed it until our fourth year together, when I looked back at my High School life and remembered nothing but Tom and all of the drama we had. It all started with graduation. Tom was two years older than I ,so this little discrepancy proved most inconvenient. We had separate lives when he went to college. He went to a local college and "commuted" everyday...he said it was because he was waiting for me, but I just think he couldn't get into any other institutes. Tom wasn't the brightest crayon in the box...that was for sure. We were always like night and day. Now, I'm not saying I don't have flaws, but his were obvious. He wasn't very attractive now that I look back at it, he looked like a cartoon character. He was tall, skinny, pale, and had a rather impressive nose. But, nevertheless, I loved him. I had a bright future ahead of me, some would say. I was Valedictorian, 4-H Leader, social advocate, PETA member, track runner, and I wasn't at all ugly. But girls, let me tell you how I ruined my life... *** _______ Year One _______ Wow, we had been together a whole year. Things went smoothly and we only fought occasionally. We had many milestones that year and some good times too! Our one year anniversary was great, and we were so young to be in a relationship! We had something to be proud of...but other people thought differently. I was being ridiculed by my "friends" for dating such a "loser." I was teased my first year of High School (his 11th grade year) for dating "Pinocchio." People repetitively told me I could "do better." Maybe I didn't WANT to do better... We had so much fun together I didn't mind the jokes. *** Year Two ______ Tom began to forget things-important things. He made me cry on prom this year. He forgot our 2-year anniversary. I had waited all night for him to surprise me or saying something but he never did. He felt bad, naturally, but I was heart-broken. I had him a bag of gifts and a "mushy" card. I left them at his door. We began to fight more often...A LOT more often. We broke up several times this year. I found out about him cyber-dating other girls online which created a permanent rift in our relationship. I no longer trusted him and took all of his words as lies. Year two was rough, he graduated and left me alone in High School. We spent every minute together so I had no friends...year three (my 11th grade year) was bound to be terrible without him. I ate lunch with him everyday and when he didn't have to work we would spend the day together. I got my first job that summer at a clothing store. This leads us to year 3... *** Year Three ____ I was depressed. Tom was gone working or at college all of the time. He showed a lack of interest in calling me or being with me. The fights began to be violent. We would scream and throw things at each other. I hung up on him on a daily basis. I began to show other love interests and I believe he did too. We broke up for one month and dated other people...then made-up. He made me cry on Valentine's Day when he wanted to go to the Honda Shop with his friends rather than spend time with me. This proved to be our roughest year, at many times I would question the effort we were putting in the relationship. Everyone at my workplace despised him because I would often come to work upset because of something he did. I began to develop an animosity for most of his friends as he did with mine, we were drifting further apart everyday. I didn't go to prom with him this year and I saw other people for a while. It seemed everyday was full of drama and tears, it wasn't worth the exhaustion anymore. On June 6th, 2003 , 3 1/2 years after we started going out, Tom snapped , and our last fight ended with my arms bruised and my face smacked. I couldn't take it anymore. He was ruining my future (I had plans to go to a local college so we could get married, but I had a scholarship to basically any college I wanted.) I had no life and no friends. He constantly called me "stupid" or "dumb" until I actually believed it. He quit his job and I was left paying for us to go to the movies and out to eat, which I didn't mind for the first 2 months...When my parents would offer him odd jobs for money he refused. He slept until 2:00 in the afternoon most days while I worked and did projects for school. I found myself doing a lot of his college homework for him. I was sick frequently this year. I was so depressed, my immune system was weak. I had colds and stomach aches constantly. My life was being ruined by my first love and caring for him was killing me and my spirit. *** Three years and three quarters __ I just broke up with Tom and I am very sad about this. I want it to be for good this time. He makes me hate myself and we are miserable when we are around each other. I know everything will be Okay because my new friends at work are helping me and my old friends are too. I have learned a valuable lesson and I hope some of you girls have too. Everyone that I talk to have had similar experiences with High School relationships...when there are more bad days than there are good ones, it's time to do something about it... |