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By Violet Date: 2003 Jul 06 Comment on this Work [[2003.07.06.14.24.11987]] |
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you're out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of silly boys and men drinking and probably smoking cigars you are toasting to your last few breaths of freedom before taking the big plunge i am not bitter i had my own fun last night the girls had me drinking through a "penis straw" and asking random men for change "for the condom machine" i came home with some man's underwear in my purse but now you are gone and i am here alone in our sweaty-hot, cat-furry apartment i stay up late and watch movies that you hate i eat junk food and paint my nails and read Harry Potter i started to think about what it might be like to be single in the city like carrie bradshaw (i'm really more like charlotte, but i don't like to admit it) if i weren't going to marry you in a few days, would i have a closet full of Jimmy Choos? would I drink at all of the hip bars and flirt with important men with important bank accounts? i bet i would paint everything red and sleep on satin sheets and have one night stands i'd get an amazing job... maybe let my voice take me to LA and get a recording contract these images dance in front of me, intoxicating jewels, sugary sweet temptations but still, when i go to bed tonight, i will feel your empty space i will crawl all over it, trying to feel you and breathe the last scraps of your scent you've been gone for 30 some hours i crave you i wallow in your absence i am not independent and hip and chic i am silly and needy and clingy the truth is, if i had my freedom from this commitment i would be out there, looking for exactly what i have i get lonely you fix that and you have a way about you that makes me feel protected and safe and loved and royal come home. |