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By CordovaGirl Date: 2003 Sep 10 Comment on this Work [[2003.09.10.22.05.13526]] |
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You know you have a severe issue when you're standing in the kitchen at midnight eating spoonfuls of Edy's Andes Mint ice cream out of a gallon container and staring out the window. Which is exactly what I did in the afternoon too. Maybe I feel somehow my kitchen window will provide some insight into what's been happening in the past month, as if the answers will just glide in and settle on my counter and everything will make sense...it is really windy out. It's been about two weeks now since we had our bitter awkward conversation, and that was the last time we've spoken. I don't know if I'm sad about that or relieved. Maybe a little of both. All I know is that he was online tonight, and through the course of staring at his screenname and a game of away messages, my willpower was amazing. I always end up forgiving. He knows that. But tonight I walked away, although now I'm thinking what would have happened if I had said hi. I know he was waiting. And still wondering why I didn't. Edy's is the best ice cream to think to. I think my ice-cream daydreams of him coming to his senses will come true, because they have to. Otherwise I'll end up standing in the kitchen staring out the window eating Edy's every night. I'm busy enough during the day to focus on more important things, like taking a long walk in the sunlight. And drawing. And painting my bathroom. Which I also did today. And in thinking about that, I realize I have much better sense and things to do than to lose my waistline to a man. |