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By JD Date: 2003 Oct 31 Comment on this Work [[2003.10.31.08.46.32156]] |
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"Is it going to hurt?" She asked the doctor, her eyes wide with terror. She smoothed a palm over her stomach, trying her best to feel any movement inside- she felt none. Her heart raced as the doctor continued to stare at his clipboard. "Don't worry." He reassured the young girl, barely 17-years-old. "There will be some discomfort on your part but the fetus won't feel a thing." She gulped a mouthful of air as her eyes widened with fear. "How do you know? I don't want him to feel it.. I don't want him to.." "Don't worry." The doctor repeated, this time giving her slight smile. "Like I said, the fetus won't feel a thing. Now, about your papers- your parents did sign this, right?" "Yes." She lied. She crossed her ankles over each other as she stared blankly out the window. The clouds seemed to move at an alarming rate, almost as if they were caught in a vortex, speeding gracefully deep into the heavens. She sighed. The world around her was turning as it always has. Everyone went on with their lives- all while hers crumbled into nothing. She pressed her hand harder against her stomach and still felt nothing. "I'm going to give you a few minutes to calm down." The doctor said in an even voice, glancing back down at his clipboard. "Did anyone come with you? I can send them in." "No. I came alone." The doctor gave her a curt nod and quietly left the room. The young girl sighed and leaned her head against the cold bed, closing her eyes tightly. She traced her hand over the soft flesh of her stomach as she tried to control her breathing. She felt a cold sweat drip all over her skin, soaking her completely. With a muffled sigh, she closed her eyes and prayed for the moment to be over. That's when she heard it- the soft voice whispering in her ear, telling her to open her eyes. Her eyes were yanked open by an unseen force and she found herself in a crowded hallway. She looked down and found a young boy, tugging gently on her hand. She gawked at him for a moment as her green eyes bore into his- an exact replica of her own. "You must be Ryan." She looked up again and found a kind-faced woman, smiling down at the boy, still tugging on her hand. The woman, who she assumed to be the boy's teacher, gave the two of them another warm smile before extending her arm to let them in. Reluctantly, she allowed herself to be pulled by the boy, leading her into the ruckus of a kindergarten classroom. She bent down and looked at him strangely. "You're my son." "Of course I am, Mommy!" The boy snorted. "Come on! I wanna see the sandbox!" Before he could leave, she pulled him in a tight embrace. She pulled away from him and examined his face carefully, drinking in each line on his face, each tendril of hair on his head. He smiled at her, in turn, showing off the two dimples on either cheek. She shook her head in disbelief. This boy was her son. Her son. "You're my son." She repeated as she pulled him into another desperate embrace. "You're my son." He pushed his palms against her shoulders and tried to squirm away. "I know that, Mommy! You have to let me go! I wanna see the sandbox!" With that, he scampered away, leaving her kneeling on the floor. "Don't worry." She looked up at the sound of the teacher's soft, soothing voice. "Children are like that. They love you one minute but at the sight of some sand in a box, they don't want anything to do with you." She just nodded her head, dumbfounded. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. "That's my son." She opened her eyes again only to find herself in front of a bus, Ryan standing proudly in front of her. "You're my son.." The young boy gave her a small smirk and kissed her shyly on the cheek. "I know, Mama. I promise to call you every week and to wear a different pair of underwear every day." "You're my son.." She whispered, pulling him into her arms. She felt him squirm but she didn't care. She wanted to just wrap her arms around him and never let go. She wanted to shield him from everything wrong and hurtful in the world. She wanted to love him forever. "Let go, Mama." He pulled away from her before giving her a wide grin. "My friends are going to make fun of me again. I'll see you in August! Love you!" With that, he bounded up the stairs, into the bus, off to his first day at camp. She closed her eyes but not before her tears fell down her cheeks. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in the bathroom, watching her teenager shave. She gave him a curious look and couldn't help but smile. In the bathroom mirror, he gave her a nervous grin before running the razor across his jaw-line. He didn't look a thing like his father, inheriting her olive complexion and wide green eyes, instead. She was thankful. "Do you think I'm wearing too much aftershave?" He asked her, tracing his hand over his jaw. She merely shook her head. He gave her another smile and adjusted his collar. "You know, Mama, you should go on dates, too. You're the most beautiful woman I know." She laughed. "You're my son. You're all I need." He stepped away from the sink and smiled down at her, his 6'1 frame looming over her a welcomed shadow. He gave her shoulder a tight squeeze and found himself being gathered into her arms. He merely chuckled and allowed her to embrace him- he was used to that. "You're going to have to let me go one day." He laughed as he gave her cheek a kiss. "Who knows? Maybe this girl is THE ONE. Your baby boy is all grown up." She reluctantly unwrapped her arms and leaned against the doorway, her eyes searching her face. This is her son, her everything. She closed her eyes and smiled wistfully. "You're my son.." When she opened her eyes again, she found herself staring at a stained glass window. She looked down and noticed that she was carrying a pair of gloves with one hand, while clasping a an old handkerchief with the other. She felt the sunlight streaming past the rose-coloured windows, casting a soft, pink hue on the curves of her face. "How do I look?" Ryan grinned at her, smoothing his hand over the lapel of his tuxedo. He spun around on his heel and gave her another toothy grin. "Do I look as handsome as I think I look?" "Even better." He slowly approached her and gently placed an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you, Mama." "For what?" She asked him as she slipped on her gloves. "For never giving up on me." He sobbed into her hair. "I know it must have been hard being a mother and a father to me.. I could have never done what you did for me. So thank you.. Thanks for hanging on to me." She nodded slowly as tears stung her eyes. "You're my son." With a final hug, he nodded and walked slowly towards the aisle to wait for his bride. She closed her eyes and let her son go. "You're going to have to let me go one day.." A voice from deep within her heart whispered in her ear. "But not today." She opened her eyes and found herself 17-years-old again, back in the sterile room. She placed a gentle hand on her stomach and for the first time, she felt the tiny pulsating of her son's heart. "Are you ready?" The doctor asked loudly when he entered the room. He looked around in surprise. The girl was gone. |