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By beyond_different Date: 2003 Dec 10 Comment on this Work [[2003.12.10.21.57.13348]] |
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A mess...two words that pretty much sum up my life lately. My one true (or so I thought) love turned his back on me but not before he got me in debt up to my eyeballs. Rather than be a MAN he welched on his debts and left. He was right just like his father, but no matter how many times he said it I always told him he was wrong. Well he was right, one of the few times in our relationship. Five years...now I have a home I can't afford, that's not much more than four bare walls and a cold floor. And a snoop living next door. My aunt & grandfather live in the house that's on the same land as my trailer. pain in the ass doesn't even begin to describe her. After my love left I found myself wanting friends, and I found them in my classes. One particularly horrible night post rejection I called on a friend who offered to come over and just listen, I needed to vent, like I'm doing now. Well he (yep this is where the story goes downhill) came over right away as he knew I'd been torn up in class and wasn't best left on my own alone. He showed up 'bout quarter to 9 at night and parked his huge truck behind my car. He walked up wearing blue jeans, workboots, a long sleeve t-shirt and a dusty carhart jacket (and I'll admit he looked hot)...but I was grieving the loss of a long term love. I was going through it bad and he listened for a long time without saying a word. Then he took my hand in his and held it. After three nights of no sleep, crying to the point of soaking the sheets, I fell asleep holding his hand. (again this is where it takes another step downhill) Within twenty minutes of my falling asleep in the comfort of a friend's arms, my pain in the ass shows up at my door asking why I've got a friend over, and "it better not be no guy!" I lost it and threw my shoes at her as she fled my porch. My friend was there by my side the entire time. He held me all night just so I could sleep. After two weeks of pain and suffering from the loss of one love I realized another door had opened a tiny crack letting in a ray of much needed light into my dim little world. My friend is still my friend, but there've been more nights like this one, and more words and glances across the room in class. I think I'm falling for him, and i'm not sure if its too soon. Though it was funny someone else asked me why I'm finally smiling. He's on his way over again tonight. |