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By iLYd Date: 2004 Jan 15 Comment on this Work [[2004.01.15.23.29.24756]] |
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I want to say how I really feel, I want to feel the love back, like the love I am willing to give. Why can't I freely tell this person how I feel, what and why and why and what must I do to convince this person I love you. What? I see it in your eyes; you would like to get close. I see it in your smile; you would like to be with me. I see it in your gestures; you would like to, well. I see it in the way you talk and grin and laugh and yes the way you look at me. But it just wasn't written in the cards for us was it? Or is it! I have been with you and apparently I just don't do anything for you in the way I am suppose to. Yes it surprised me at first, but then after thinking about it, maybe the spark wasn't there for you, or maybe other factors were in play. My question I need to know is if we put all things aside and could successfully achieve total freedom with each other could or would you be with me? Could you love me? I really need to know these answers, you see my heart aches, not the normal heart breaks, mine tends to ache to the point of riding a gurney into the emergency room and the only thing they can tell me is that it is probably stress related. Imagine that stress. I have so tried to get you out of my head and tried so hard to convince myself that I don't need someone like you in my life, the only thing is yes I do. I want you in my life. For now it is part time and I have even convinced myself of this, though I need some assurance that you too feel this way. I love you, I want and need you, I love the conversations, I love your kindness and your adorable little mad occasional face, oh how I want to know you better and yes you are letting me. But wait will this ever go anywhere? Will I always be seeking you out? I love you like the love I have been yearning and seeking for my entire life. I need and want that feeling in my life. Perhaps it will be something that I must take to my grave, but I sure hope not, I would like to share it and my hopes are that I get to share them with you. But only a small problem arises with these feelings, I don't know if you could be true. I know you look and perhaps sometimes play, but the way I feel about you does not allow any of that. I know you lost a true love in your life once? Could I possibly fill that space? If once a wonderer always a wonderer, is this true? If we were truly together, could you just be with me? These are questions I must ask, because you have my whole heart now and if a decision was ever to be made, I need to know. ILYd |