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By silly gurl Date: 2004 Apr 25 Comment on this Work [[2004.04.25.16.50.4646]] |
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I'm so consumed with you. Every other thought, I'm thinking of you. It's an obsession. I think i'm going crazy, even a little insane, but I just can't seem to get you off my mind. I wake up, i miss you. I go to school, go to work, still- you, in my thoughts. Go home and go to bed, wish you were by my side. Think of what it felt like. Is it normal to think this way? Is it normal if i know it's not normal? Does that make it okay? Maybe this is my way of grieving, but hoping for life with you is not moving on. Maybe it is my way of keeping in touch with a part of you, that part i keep inside. Its like your living in my head. The "other" you. The one I've made perfect and refined, better than ever. And i miss the one I've created, rather than YOU, the one i dated. I fix my wrongs inside my head. I suffer, I cry, I relive and re-die each time I think of you, but even now, with pen on paper, i feel as though i'm speeking to you. And i think, If you could only read these thoughts, hear me, you would understand that which i can not tell you. I must come to terms, for i do know, that you don't see these inky words, scratched on used papaers. Nor do you hear my thoughts and feel the comfort of my words. But i do not wish to torment you. I love you so. That, would be inappropriate, but oh, how i want to tell you. I would call you "my love" a million times a day. No more "my buddy", but "my love" "my companion". I wish for a thousand things to say to say to you. Somehow writing them makes them real. How i wish i could remember those early love letters i wrote you. Please forgive me. |