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By jwb71913 Date: 2004 May 27 Comment on this Work [[2004.05.27.12.54.4164]] |
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My back hurt. My mouth tasted like a trash can, and my lips were stuck together with noxious slime. I opened my eyes and slowly regained consciousness, and realized I was in the back seat of my car. I reached for the beer can in the console between the bucket seats, and found an empty with ashes around the top. As I slowly worked the cramp out of my left leg, I tried to get my head high enough to look out the window and determine where I was. The sunlight was brutal, already burning my eyes, even though they were still closed. The heat was unbearable, I struggled to keep from retching as I shaded my eyes with my hands and tried to open them. The film on my eyelids flaked off as I rubbed my eyes, and I could feel particles of skin sticking to the sweat on my face. Suddenly the remnants of a wasted weekend became clear through the fog in my head. She had dumped me again, and although I had refused to admit to her or God or another person that I was in love with her, it had hit me hard. The pint bottle of tequila on the passenger floorboard was empty, as was the cooler where I last remembered putting twelve cans of beer and a two dollar bag of ice into. I would have traded my left arm for a cold Pepsi and a sausage biscuit at that moment. I resolved at that moment to seek sobriety, as soon as I could find a meeting to attend. But I knew the resolve would melt away like an ice cube on blacktop in August when the spectre of my love life returned, as it did every evening. It wasn't my fault. I loved her with all my heart. I just couldn't tell her. |