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By JD Date: 2004 Jun 08 Comment on this Work [[2004.06.08.23.55.14160]] |
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Here I am, with my herbal tea in one hand, stealing glances at you from the corner of my eye. The restaurant, with all its discord and clamor, is silent the moment you meet my stare. In the distance, a woman complains and a child begins to wail; yet I hear nothing, except for the sound of my own heart pounding. I search my brain for some witty comment or even a mundane remard on the weather. I come up with nothing. So I sit here, slowly drinking my tea, trying to remember all the lines I've rehearsed to the point of exhaustion. All the declarations of love and proclamations of devotion elude me as we sit in such close proximity. Just a whisper away from your embrace, yet traveling on the outskirts of your life. I have no words to say, no eloquent verbal shower, not even a simple "How are you?" With so much wanting inside my heart, I am left senseless and weak in your presence. And what could I possibly say without giving away what I feel inside? Can I tell you that I miss you without seeing the passiveness and indifference in your eyes? Can I tell you that I miss hearing you laugh without the risk of losing what little dignity I managed to muster for tonight? Can I tell you that I love you without hearing the contempt and scorn in your voice? So I settle for silence. Despite the fact that I want to tell you that my jaded heart is because of your constant abuse to my integrity. Even though you should know that my heart is held captive within its own walls, I choose instead this quiet expressiveness. So here I am, with my herbal tea in one hand, stealing glances at you fron the corner of my eye. And as our eyes meet, and my heart stops, and my head starts spinning, I see a trace of your smile. |